Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,35
go the next day.
“I love you so fucking much, my sweet fairy,” he choked out before kissing me again.
That was how we spent the rest of the dream, crying together and trading emotional kisses.
I had messed up dreams. I knew that. Most were simply nightmares, not nervous breakdowns.
I woke the next morning feeling like I’d been put through the wringer… And in Lucca’s arms. I quickly wrote a healing rune and rolled out of bed. The need to hydrate and eat all the food in the house weighed on me.
Instead, I went down to the gym and pushed through my workout before heading out to the ATVs. I’d worked on a surprise that I’d been excited to share with Mel, Izzy, and Darby, my heart hurting that two wouldn’t enjoy it now.
The greenhouses I’d had put on the back of the property were thriving. I loaded up the bushels of fresh fae fruit I’d picked and headed back for the house, pulling right into the first garage.
To find Darby standing there.
“How?” he whispered, glancing between me and my haul.
I shrugged as I turned off the ATV. “I had some greenhouses put in months ago and got them set up so we’d have fresh fun over break.”
He gave me his soft, loving smile. “Of course you did, ag—Tamsin.”
I swallowed a flinch. “Can we not do this? I didn’t sleep well and I—”
“I didn’t disagree with what you did to Lucca,” he blurted.
“I know. Hudson told me, and that you got sauced.”
“I was jealous you were bonding with your mate. I keep feeling left out. I—I don’t know what to do and I’m losing you.”
“You’re doing that,” I whispered as I leaned heavily on the bed of the ATV. “You’ve been pushing me away and—”
“I thought a lot about what you said. You’re right. You’re absolutely right, and not just because I’m worried about losing you. If the world was perfect, I would have a problem with what you did. But it’s not and I get it. Either way, I should have been on your side. I was terrified about any council member knowing about you. I’m freaked out about Neldor and him being here doing something to you. All of it—”
“Makes you give me so much shit?” I demanded, giving him the look he deserved.
“We all handle things badly at times,” he sighed, running his hand over his hair. “I blew this up when I thought you were…” He shook his head. “I thought I’d missed all the signs again. I thought I had…”
It hit me hard. “I triggered you. Just like when you had a bad reaction to my almost doing porn and it triggered me and I lost my head. This triggered your issues with missing so much about your family and you blew it all up and I didn’t see it.”
“I didn’t see it either,” he chuckled darkly. “But yes, I think that’s what happened. I don’t know. We don’t have a lot of calm to really—”
“What do you mean you did pornography?” Neldor bellowed from the doorway. “The woman to stand at my side, the next queen of the fairies, cannot have been involved in pornography, you stupid woman!”
Darby gestured to Neldor to say the fairy was making his point. “We have a lot of this.”
“Yeah, yeah we do,” I sighed as I threw up a barrier and blocked Neldor out. I swallowed loudly as I focused on the bushel of fae fruit. “I need less rocky with you, Darby. I know a lot of it hasn’t been your fault or… I can’t keep with this slamming into brick walls and making up only to slowly start again. If that’s what we’re even doing this time. You haven’t said that’s what you want or—”
“Yes, I want to be with you and fix things,” he cut in. “And I don’t want to go slow. This wasn’t a brick wall, but some speed bumps we’ve gotten over.”
That sounded seriously dismissive and I tried not to be hurt by that. “Okay.”
“Clearly not, with the pain I’m sensing from you,” he whispered. “It was a bad analogy then. We fell into a sand trap we couldn’t get out of, quicksand we’ve been sinking into further. We’re going to climb out and yeah, walk a bit gingerly, but nothing like before. This isn’t us, but everything hitting us. I know it. Trust me this time to navigate this.”
I nodded. I wasn’t sure what else to do or say. It didn’t sound like