Reaching Answers (Artemis University #8) - Erin R Flynn Page 0,29
what I’d been too scared to for weeks now.
“No, no, Tamsin,” he rasped, trying to pull me into his arms, but I fought him. He didn’t care, taking the hits and my struggles.
“Stop accepting I can be sold!” I sobbed, admitting what else had been hurting me so much. “I’m worth more than that. I thought my mate of all people would agree.”
Hudson did. We’d had a long talk about maybe my parents had agreed to the betrothal for peace, but had planned to never go through with it or give me the final decision as his parents had. They were never going to mate him to someone he didn’t love or couldn’t be with, simply making alliances when he was younger.
That had honestly been the most comforting conversation I’d had about the whole thing and had helped me the most.
“I’m sorry, kitten,” he whispered as he kissed my temple. “I want you. I’m scared we’re so young but I want you. I’m scared I can’t make you happy, be what you need like a fairy. I’m terrified I can’t be what the fucking heir to the light fairy realm needs. I’m… I’ve been a shit mate and I didn’t see it. I kept thinking you would—I didn’t see the thing with Mel like that.”
“You didn’t ask,” I bitched, getting an arm free and slugging him in the shoulder. “You just judged. You announced I was wrong and you were on her side. Pissed I didn’t talk to you or ask your fucking permission first.”
“You talked to him first,” he snarled.
“The fuck I did!” I bellowed, hitting him again before he got my arm tucked back against my body.
He leaned away and blinked at me. “He knew. He didn’t lie when he told me he knew and you guys had talked about it. He knew the plan and—”
“He didn’t lie, but he certainly wasn’t telling you the truth, Lucca,” I grumbled. “He busted me that I’d told Councilman Brooks and put pieces together. He wasn’t even right what I told him, and that was the night Craftsman saved me and you guys found us in bed. I didn’t tell anyone before I did it. Zack and Ray knew I was going to admit I was a fairy, but not why. I did this all on my own. I carried this burden alone and—”
I closed my mouth so fast, I bit my tongue. I stopped fighting him, the will to fight leaving me.
“Please leave. I’m tired,” I mumbled, not able to hide how defeated I was for once.
“No. No, I won’t leave you when you’re like this and I was part of the problem,” he rasped. “You’re scaring me, kitten. My bear is freaking out that you’re giving up.”
I didn’t even mean to throw up the barrier I did. It just happened, but when he was pushed away, I turned around so I wasn’t facing him. I buried my face against my knees and tried to squash down what I was feeling.
“Craftsman is the only one who sees what Neldor’s been doing to me, but I can’t trust him that he’ll stay this time. Mel left. You and Darby have been… I’m trying to let Hudson back in, but none of this is helping. Now I’ve got to free Geiger’s mate who agrees with Neldor and will pressure me more? You just don’t get it and you’re not on my side, so please just go.”
“No, I am on your side,” he breathed, his magic pushing against my barrier. “Let me in, Tamsin. Please. Please. Tell me what’s been going on that I’ve missed. I’m sorry I’ve let my fear and bullshit blind me. I’ll do better. I’ll stop falling for his games. I promise.”
I didn’t mean to let him in but my magic—or subconscious—must have wanted it because he was hugging me moments later.
And kissing every inch of my skin he could reach.
“I can’t,” I whispered, trying to shrug him off.
“I’m a bear, Tamsin,” he murmured as he slipped off the strap of my sports bra.
I rolled my eyes and pulled it back up. “Yeah, you’re a male. Sex solves everything to most of you guys.”
“True, but not what I meant,” he chuckled, yanking down the other strap. “You’re my mate, kitten. Both of us want to apologize. It’s how bears roll.”
“You’re not making sense,” I growled, pulling it up and holding both as I turned to face him. “We’re not okay, Lucca.”