The Raven Four Books 1-3 - Jessica Sorensen Page 0,70
more than anything, right?” There’s a challenge in his eyes as he looks at me, daring me to tell him that I’ve changed my plans about wanting to get the hell out of this town and away from this family mafia drama.
While I love challenging Jax, I won’t with this. I’ve wanted my freedom since the day we were brought into that mansion that Jax’s dad lives in and shoved into that room with …
“Yeah, it’s what we want,” I agree with a heavy sigh. “But it feels kinda wrong using Raven… Honestly, I kind of felt that way last night when you suggested Zay play her. And Porter’s a prick and likes women who are easy. And Raven’s not easy. I don’t think she’s even experienced. So, I’m not sure your plan will work.”
“Yeah, I don’t think she’s experienced either,” Zay mutters, wiping his hand across his forehead.
I cast him an amused look. “You two should get along fantastically then.”
He glowers at me. “Yeah right. She drives me crazy.”
“I think you like that,” I mock, eliciting another dirty look from him.
“Stop getting off track,” Jax warns. “I need to make sure we’re all on the same page about this. The last thing I need is one of you feeling guilty and backing out.”
As he says it, that guilt I felt last night trickles through me again.
What is with this girl? Why is she getting under my skin so deeply?
“Why would we feel guilty?” Zay grumbles. “If she’s gonna be part of our circle, she’s gonna have to get used to doing stuff like this.”
“Yeah, but we’re kind of using her,” I state the obvious, guilt pressing against my chest even harder. “Plus, we’re digging up dirt on her for the bosses …” I frown. “If she really was part of our circle, we’d be breaking a ton of rules.”
“She’s not part of our circle yet,” Jax stresses. “And if we want to get the hell out of this life, both of these things need to be done. Technically, we don’t have to use her to get to Porter, but we’ve been trying to get to him for a while and this is our best option. As for digging up dirt on her, that’s non-negotiable. The bosses asked for it; so, we do it.” He leans back and crosses his arms, his eyes looking a little bit bloodshot as he stares us down hard. “So, what’s it going to be? Her or us?”
“Are those really the only two options?” I mumble with a frown.
“Unless you have a better idea, yes,” Jax replies without an ounce of remorse in his expression.
Deep down, I wonder if he feels guilty. Usually, he doesn’t. If Raven was just a normal girl, he wouldn’t. But Raven isn’t a normal girl. She’s broken, just like all of us, which makes it so much worse when I hear Zay say, “Fine, I choose us.”
They both look at me, waiting for me to choose, and while I hate myself for it, I know there’s really only one choice. Because, in the end, I’ll always choose Zay and Jax over anything.
I let out a sigh. “Fine, I choose us, too.” Then I get up to leave the room to do a few more lines before school.
“There’s one more thing,” Jax calls out before I can leave.
I pull a face. Great. What the hell else is he gonna make us do?
I pause in the doorway and turn around. “What now?”
Jax’s gaze bounces between Zay and me, and then he scratches the back of his neck. “A raven flies into the window this morning and for a brief second, my mind went to that dark place. It could be just a coincidence, but if it's not…"
The room grows quiet for a moment, all of us rippling with uneasiness.
“You really don’t think they’re gonna start that fucking game up again, do you?” I finally say, my voice shaky. “I mean, they’d tell us if they were… right?”
Jax says nothing, simply arching a brow. I know what he’s thinking, though. That the bosses would definitely start up the game without telling us. In fact, they’d probably thrive on blindsided us with it.
And while I can’t remember all of the detail of the game, a trait all of us share so I doubt it’s coincidental, I know enough to understand that I don’t want to play again.
“Relax,” Jax says, sensing my tension. “We don’t need to get worked up until we know for sure.”