I brought him along, relishing the tensing of his thighs and abdomen, the sounds and words he ground out, muffled by his lips pressed between my legs, building me up to my own peak until it all became just a swirling vortex of sex and pleasure impossible to describe in thought. We both got lost in the beautiful frenzy of finding our pinnacle together.
“So good…oh, f**k it’s so good. You suck my cock…so good, baby…” Ethan’s gasping moans brought me out of my own swirling pleasure enough to get my body moving.
I love sucking your beautiful cock. I scrambled around and knelt between his legs, taking his hard flesh very deep, in long sweeping sucks that bumped the back of my throat. I cradled his balls in my other hand and squeezed, feeling them tighten up in preparation to give me what I wanted from him.
“Fuck, f**k, f**k…I’m gonna come in your mouth. Brynne—” he choked out, jerking his hips in short bursts, f**king into my mouth. His hands gripped my hair in handfuls, holding me captive on his cock…as he emptied his hot male essence down my throat.
In that final instant, as I had come to expect of him, because it was how Ethan needed it from me; he said my name in a desperate call to look up at him.
I lifted my eyes and found the blue of his own staring down upon me, shattering in all their fiery brilliance, with love…for me.
“I…love…you,” he said to me in a roar that could only be described as one of utter, agonized bliss.
I recognized it because it was exactly what he did to me.
Hours later, and more orgasms than I thought possible, I lay cradled in my man’s strong arms with the soft lapping of the sea on the sand, and the flickering of candles in jars lighting the night around us with a soft glow. I knew more happiness and love than I’d ever experienced in my life, and now understood how precious it was to have that love.
How could I ever live without it now? What would happen to me if I ever lost him? Could I even survive such a thing?
Ethan had changed me forever and there was no unringing of that bell. Ever.
I closed my eyes and focused on where I was in the moment. On our Italian beachside bed-of-love, with Ethan spooning behind me, his hand cradling my belly as he slept.
Holding us both against his heart, owning us, protecting us…loving us.
Such a beautiful thing…
I was almost frightened to believe it had happened to me.
Part Two
AUTUMN
Did the cold wind bite you, did you face up to the fright?
When the leaves spin from October
and whip around your tail?
Did you shake from the blast, did you shiver through the gale?
Jethro Tull ~Weathercock
CHAPTER 6
30th September
Somerset
AS the mother lay dead in the street, the boy cried over her body they’d left abandoned in the dirt. The hours dragged as slowly as the sun moved overhead. It became harder and harder for me to tune him out. The wailing just zeroed in through my ears, and straight to my motherfucking heart. That boy was me. I’d been right where he was. I couldn’t stand hearing him for another bloody second. So I swooped in to grab him. A decision I cannot take back, because what I did was his death sentence. He never had a chance. None. They used him like bait to lure me in. No take-backs for what I did…
I crashed awake gasping for breath. Like a film in super slow motion, then fast-forwarded, defying logic, but making acceptable sense to where I’d just been in my dream. One moment I was buried under with the oppressive weight of darkness and despair closing in on me, and then in a split-second, shoved to the surface to face the blinding light of freedom.
I f**king hated it.
The dreams f**ked with my head.
I was f**ked up because of them.