13
Ethan scooped me off the couch and into his arms. I lifted my eyes and got that wave of emotion again as his blues found me. I loved him so much I knew the fear. I’d heard others speak about it. I’d read about it in books. Now I understood. The fear that you have when you finally give your heart away to another person. It makes you very vulnerable to loss. If you never love anyone, then you’ll never be hurt when they don’t love you back or when they leave you.
I finally had the practical experience of understanding.
It sucked.
Ethan sensed my newfound knowledge, I think. He studied me with intuitive eyes that looked very dark blue at the moment, and ducked his head down to meet my lips. He kissed me there in front of the window while holding me naked in his arms. I melted into him and gave in to my goddamn emotions.
He carried me down the hall to the bedroom and broke the kiss to lower me down to the bed. He saw.
“Oh, oh, baby . . . don’t cry,” he whispered, cupping my face and settling against me.
I couldn’t help it. There was far too much inside me to leave it there. “I just love you so much, Ethan,” I blubbered and then closed my eyes in an attempt to find some small sliver of sanctuary from my emotions.
He took over, stretching out against me so that our bodies aligned from head to toe when he started kissing me. Everywhere. “I love you more,” he whispered as his lips trailed over my tears and brushed them away. He moved on to my jaw and then my neck and throat, the warm draw of his tongue over my skin settling me into some control over my urge to weep.
“I know what you need, and I’ll always be here to give it to you.” His hand reached up to weave fingers into my hair as his mouth closed over a nipple and sucked. And just like that he took me away into another world. A place where I was cherished, and where I could forget about a time when I never dared to dream about being loved like this.
Ethan alternatively flicked his tongue between my ni**les, pinching with his lips, pulling them up and hardening the tips to sharp aching points as he held my hair in a firm grip. The tugging of my hair arched my chest up to meet his mouth. I needed what he did to me. So very badly.
When he lifted his head from my br**sts, I protested the loss of his mouth on me and the pleasure it gave. He wanted to look at his handiwork. Ethan loved to look at our bodies during sex. There was no part of me he hadn’t had a good look at or touched in some way. It gave me confidence when he looked and I knew he liked what he saw.
“Does that feel good when I suck on your beautiful tits and make them hard?” He tugged on my hair.
“Yes! I love when you suck them.” I was starting to feel desperate.
“Do you love it when I bite them?” He clamped his teeth over one, not hard enough to hurt badly, but enough to give me a jolt of ecstasy along with a twinge of pain that brought out a moan.
“I think I take that as a yes,” he muttered. “You’re so f**king gorgeous when you make sounds . . .” He bit the other nipple, making me gasp and craving much more. Ethan had shown me, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I was indeed a sexual creature. When he got me into this state even I would class myself well into the category of nymphomaniac.
His hand left my hair as he reached down to open my legs wide so he could stare at my pu**y. “But this is what I want now,” he rasped, stroking over my cleft, spreading the slick wetness from my earlier orgasm backward to lubricate my other opening. We’d been working on this for a while, and Ethan was taking his time in getting us there. I’d never done anal sex with anyone else; he would be the first. It felt nice to be a virgin in this way and give something to him that wasn’t going to go to anyone else.
He pushed two fingers in and lifted his eyes as he did. “I want this, baby. I want into every part of you because you’re mine, and you always will be.”
The sting of pressure filling me up made me flex against the invasion. “I know,” I panted against his lips brushing mine. His words only helped me to feel more of what I needed to know from him, I focused on that and let myself go to a good place in my head. You’re mine, and you always will be.
“Relax for me. Let me in here, and I’ll make it feel so good.” He started stroking with his fingers slowly, working in deeper with each penetration. “Baby . . . so f**king tight. I want to claim this tonight.”
“Do it,” I breathed, rolling my head to the side, “I want you to . . . finally do it . . .”
Ethan took hold of my chin, turning me back to face him as he pressed his fingers farther inside me and took possession of my mouth with his, thrusting his tongue in deep with forceful swirls. “I love you,” he said harshly. “So much I don’t know what to do with myself most of the time, but I do know what I want to do here.” He withdrew his fingers, then slid them back into my virgin ass**le.
I cried out from the intensity of the slide as it burned a path straight to my center.
“I have to know every bit of you, Brynne. I’m greedy and I have to have it all, baby.” He started a slow rub of my clit with his thumb in tandem with his finger penetrations. “I have to be inside your beautiful, perfect ass because it’s you and I have to know what it feels like to be there.”
I shuddered beneath him and his touch, incapable of much more than a simple yes. The second I uttered my agreement, he pulled off me and turned me over. He took his time arranging me as he wanted. My hips were tugged back so I rested on my knees. My arms were stretched forward and made to grip the headboard. My knees were spread farther apart, and then . . . nothing. I could hear him breathing, and knew he was studying me again. My Ethan had a touch of voyeur kink in him and it only served to make me hotter knowing I was fulfilling his fantasies.
I hung there in anticipation when he covered me, his chest pressing onto my back, his mouth at my ear. “Are you sure?” he asked with a warm brush of his lips and then a lick just below my earlobe.
“Yeeees,” I shuddered out my answer on a long breath.
His lips met the back of my neck and swept down my spine in a worshipful caress. The closer he moved toward his destination, the more my body lit up in sensations building low in my belly. I started to shake.
“Easy, my beauty, I got you.” He pressed a hand to my lower back and then smoothed over one cheek. “You are exquisite like this,” he murmured as his hand rolled up the other cheek to grip my hip. “Utterly exquisite and perfect.” I felt him shift his weight around behind me and heard the side-table drawer slide open. Slick drops of lube met my skin as he worked it around. “Breathe for me, okay? I’m going to take care of you so good.”
I nodded to let him know I’d heard but I couldn’t speak. All I could do was suck in air and anticipate what would happen once I felt him there.