He just looked at the thing, and then his hand started moving slowly up and down the curve of my spine like before.
It felt like ages of time passed but he remained quiet, just rubbing my back absently with his hand, still connected, his c**k still buried inside my body even in its half-hard state, until I couldn’t bear another second of waiting.
“What does it say?” I whispered.
“You have to look at me.”
The self-doubt I’d known for years, the one I had a close, personal relationship with, crept right back in to wreak havoc on all the good feelings we’d just enjoyed together. That fear nearly paralyzed me, but Ethan wouldn’t allow it. He kept up the rubbing, and even nudged me a little to release me from the fear that gripped me.
“Forget about everything else and look at me, Brynne.”
I took a mouthful of courage and lifted my eyes.
From the first moment I knew Ethan, his feelings were always evident—from the expressions on his face to the tone of his voice to his body language. It was easy to know if he was pleased, annoyed, relaxed, aroused or even happy. The happy-Ethan expression was not frequent, but I’d seen it enough times to recognize it.
When I looked at the face he was showing me now, I was certain about one thing.
My Ethan was happy—truly happy about the fact that he was going to be a father.
11
"From the records sent by Dr. Greymont, I’d concur with his findings that you’re about seven weeks along, Miss Bennett.”
The doctor had age going for him, and the fact I’d been taught to respect my elders, because I sure did not like where his hands were right now. Dr. Thaddeus Burnsley had a condom-sheathed ultrasound probe up her snatch as he determinedly searched for the beating heart of our baby.
Good thing he was focused on the monitor and not her quim. It was rather awkward, but hell, it was part of the process, so I’d better get used to it. I have no idea how anyone did that job, though. Pregnant females all day long with their parts out on display? Good lord, the man had to have the constitution of an ox. Fred had referred us to him, so here we were for the first appointment. Ethan Blackstone and Brynne Bennett, prospective parents of Baby Blackstone, arriving sometime early next year.
“So that would be the middle of May?” Brynne looked over from where I sat at her shoulder. I winked and blew her an air kiss. I knew what she was thinking. She was figuring that I impregnated her almost immediately. She would be right too. The caveman in me was pretty proud of myself, as I did the metaphorical Tarzan beat-on-the-ole-chest routine. Good thing I was smart enough to keep my trap shut about it.
“It would seem so, my dear. Ahhh, there we are. Hiding as they like to do when they’re so small. Right there.” Dr. Burnsley zeroed in on a small white blob, in the middle of a larger black blob onscreen that had a heartbeat clipping along at a fast pace, floating in its watery world, making its presence known.
Brynne made a little gasp and I squeezed her hand. We both stared transfixed at the enormity of what we were looking at. What a test tells you becomes very different when you can actually see it with your eyes, and even hear it with your ears. I’m looking at another person. That we made together. I’m going to be a dad. Brynne will be a mum.
“So tiny,” she said in a soft voice.
I couldn’t imagine how Brynne was absorbing all of this, because I was feeling more than a little overwhelmed. I don’t know why, but it suddenly hit me that this was real and we were going to be parents whether we liked it or not. Hannah’s words exactly.
“About the size of a blueberry and very strong from all indications. Has a robust heartbeat and the measurements match up.” He pressed a button that printed a sheet of images and removed the probe. “You’re looking at a delivery date the first part of February, from all indications. You can get dressed and then meet me in my office. We’ll talk some more.”
The good doctor handed the photos to Brynne and left us.
“How are you doing, my darling?”
“Trying to take it all in,” she said. “It’s different actually seeing him . . . or her . . .” She sat up on the table and looked down at the photos, studying them. “I still can’t believe it. Ethan, why are you so calm?”
“I’m not, really,” I answered truthfully. “I’m f**king shaking in my shoes. I want a smoke and a drink and I’m sure you’ll be brilliant at everything and I will be a complete useless idiot.”
“Wow. That’s a big change from last weekend.” She smiled at me. We’d been through this already with Fred. I knew she wasn’t mad. We’d talked it through and both had had our freak-outs at different times and moved on. This was just the first official doctor’s visit and there would be plenty more. We’d both accepted that the sun kept rising and the earth kept turning, so best to just get on with it.
I came over and peered at the pictures. “So the size of a blueberry, huh? Amazing that the little bugger can make you so sick.”
She poked me in the arm. “Did you just call our baby a little bugger? Please tell me I did not just hear you say that!” she scoffed.
“See? I’m already doing it. Totally useless idiot insulting our blueberry-sized baby.” I pushed my thumb at my chest.
She laughed and leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around her and lifted up her chin, very glad to see a light in her eyes. If I could make her laugh, I knew she was doing okay. Brynne wouldn’t be able to fake her feelings with me. If she was sad or really struggling with this, I’d definitely know. Hell, we were both f**king terrified, but I knew without a doubt that she would be very, very good at motherhood. There wasn’t a sliver of hesitation in my mind that it wouldn’t be the case. She’d be a perfect mum.
“I love you, mother of our blueberry-sized baby.” I kissed her, brushing my thumb up her cheek, thinking she looked very bright and glowing right now.