I nodded weakly, wishing I could slip through a crack in the floor boards so he couldn’t see me in such a pitiable state. Why was he here hovering? Shouldn’t he be busy with Cora grinding his soldier’s edge off?
“Why are you doing this, Neil?”
He ignored my question and frowned at me instead. “Let’s get you out. You’re so finished here for the night.”
Then he put his hand at my lower back with a firm touch, and steered me out of the pub, completely taking charge of the situation.
I was far too weak to put up any sort of fight and I loved the feel of his hands on me, anyway.
Even if he were just being the concerned big brother tonight, I’d take what I could get. Any little bit of Neil was better than no Neil at all. I am not stupid.
While leaning against the window of his car, I welcomed the cold glass pressing into my temple, hoping it might cure my scrambled head. Not very effective though, when I could smell his deliciousness right beside me.
Neil just drove and stayed quiet. He wasn’t a talker anyway. He spoke if he had something to say, and I got the feeling he really wanted to say something to me now, but I’d forced things to become so awkward between us, he probably didn’t know how to begin. Nor want to. I felt like a complete and utter mess. Scratch that. I was most definitely a complete and utter mess.
I offered the first olive branch.
I’m—I’m so—sorry for ruining your night with…Cora—”
He snorted at me. “I wasn’t there for Cora tonight,” he said, shaking his head.
He wasn’t? This was news to me. As much as I wanted to hope, I forced my fluttering heart to calm. “You weren’t there for Cora tonight.” I said the words slowly and deliberately, an edge of questioning sarcasm in my tone that asked the burning but unspoken, then why in the hell were you there tonight, Neil?
“Nah, I wasn’t.” He looked over at me, his expression giving nothing away.
It was apparent he wasn’t going to tell me why he was there either and the realization annoyed me greatly. “So, if you know about Cora then why do you stay with her? She’s running around on you as soon as you go away. She’s a cheater. Every time, Neil. She doesn’t love you like I—like—like she should do!”
Oops.
The silence in the car screamed in the small space between us.
“I’m not with Cora anymore.”
“You were when you first got back. I saw you with her more than once.”
He narrowed his eyes. “But, I’m not with her anymore, Elaina,” he said with a bite.
“Really.” I couldn’t say much more, I was so surprised at his declaration. Neil and Cora were finished? If I wasn’t sitting in a car and felt better, I might just jump up and do a jig in celebration, but my head continued to pound, and my stomach continued to storm.
“Really, there’s nothing there,” he sailed right back. “I’ve known for a long time what she gets up to and it doesn’t matter anymore what she does when I’m away.” He turned his head slowly to me, taking his eyes off the road. “We were just using each other from the get go…”
We were just using each other? Lovely. Picturing that twat getting even five minutes of Neil’s attentions made me insane with jealousy. Images of him and Cora making love, touching each other, kissing passionately, flashed through my head until I couldn’t help but groan against the cool window of his car. “Oh…I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do.”
Insane jealousy wasn’t the only thing I felt either. There was also the violent urge to be sick again.
“Pull over!” I managed to sputter.
The second round was mostly just a lot of mortifying gagging and retching. There was nothing in me now except for the water I’d sipped. Neil didn’t say anything once it was over. He kept quiet, bundled me back into his car, and drove us away. I closed my eyes and let him take care of me sure this was all a nightmare I would eventually wake from.
In the morning I would deal with facing up to the spectacle I’d made of myself in front of Neil, but not now.
Now I would pretend this was all just a dream…because it was the most my poor heart could manage to do.
5
I could smell him again. The scent in my nose was so wonderful I didn’t ever want to leave where I was in my beautiful, Neil-scented dream. I opened my eyes and saw darkness and unfamiliar surroundings…and him.