“The colour of the sky reminds you of your dad.”
She snuggled into my side. “Yeah. It’s so pretty and soft looking. I like to think of him up there in the clouds of heaven or something. It was the last place I know where he was alive and it was such a beautiful day…” her voice trailed off.
I played with her splayed-out hair as we lay on our backs, content to touch its silkiness, until I heard a soft sound, and felt a small shudder, as she turned and wept in the crook of my neck. Telling me had brought out very painful emotions. I understood how that worked. You were fine holding onto your deepest feelings just fine, but as soon as you shared them with somebody, the flood of hurt came busting out.
“He’s there waiting for you, Cherry. He’s proud of you and happy if you’re happy. There’s no pain or sadness where your dad is.”
“How do you know?” she asked.
“I just do. I have to believe in something and I believe in this. For your dad and my gran—the good people—they are in a better place now. And we can miss them, but I know they would only want us to be happy.”
“I just love you so much,” she told me, her eyes still brimming with tears.
“I love you so much, and I’ll be coming home to you when I’m done with the army and we can start our life together. We’ve got nothing but time.”
“Okay then, I’ll be here waiting for you right here at this cherry tree.” She tried to give me a smile with her little tease but I could see it was still hard for her. The next months would be hard on both of us.
“I know. When I return, we’ll come back up here for our reunion weekend.” I pulled up her chin toward me and met her beautiful, sad face. “What do you say to that idea, darlin’? Back here at Hallborough, you and me, cherry blossoms, row boats and blue dragonflies.”
“Better make it a week, captain. A measly weekend just won’t do for me.”
“Thank the blessed gods for that, because I’m going to need lots and lots of long baths in that tub together before I’m even close to recovered from being separated from you, Cherry Girl.”
I held her close up against me and worried. I couldn’t shake the feeling of gloom that hung in the air and feared I might be losing my mind. I tried to remember that as I left for my tour this time, I was leaving England with the girl I loved waiting for me back home.
Elaina would wait for me. She’d needed the reassurance that I would always be her man, but we’d worked that out. I’d promised her there was nobody else who could take my heart away from her and I meant it with everything I had in me.
I closed my eyes and held her and prayed. I prayed that everything would play out, and fate would be kind, and my beautiful girl would be here for me when I came home.
12
Four weeks later
I woke with the weight of dread pressing on me. I’d be returning to active duty in the morning so the day was our last one together for more than ten long months of separation. The SAS might have me on a plane bound for Afghanistan within a day, but my heart would stay behind in London with Elaina.
The last twenty-four hours had been a marathon of emotional highs and lows and…sex, my need to claim her again and again a compulsion that I couldn’t hold back and couldn’t bear to deny.
“How am I going to say goodbye to you at the station in the morning?” she asked in a soft voice, her hand brushing over my chest back and forth.
“I have no idea on this earth how I’ll walk away from you. I just know that if you don’t help me out by being strong, then the SAS will have an A.W.O.L. situation on their hands.”
“That sounds very bad.” She moved her hand up to my mouth where she traced my lips with her finger.
“Absent Without Leave is very bad.”
“I finally got a letter from the International Placements office yesterday. I’d been waiting on it for a while, and there’s a place for me in Italy. I was setting up to go away as an au pair before you came home on leave. You know about how I’ve been taking Italian and French in school, right? Well, I’ve been taking the courses so I could actually speak to my host family when I got a placement—”
“No. I don’t want you to go.” I moved over her and held her face. “Please promise me you won’t go to Italy.”
“Why, Neil? It’s just a job.” Her eyes searched mine. “And I’ll be busy while you’re away, and that’ll help me pass the time. It’s going to be dreadful here without you.”
I could imagine some Italian count or wealthy playboy sweeping her away just as soon as he got a good look at her. “Ten months, my sweet beautiful girl. That’s all I ask. I’ll be home and we can go wherever you want then, but please wait for me. I—I just can’t bear the idea of you not here waiting for me. I know it’s a lot to ask, but I want you here where I know you’re safe and with your family if something…happens.”
“Nothing is going to happen,” she said firmly. “Everything is going to be perfectly fine, Neil.” Then her blue eyes softened and she smiled at me. “Okay, I won’t go to Italy if it’s so important to you. I’ll find a job somewhere in the city. There must be a corporation that needs French and Italian because of international business.”
“Thank you.” I breathed out in relief before kissing my way down her body, pulling the sheet away with my teeth. The sheet peeled off, revealing her beautiful body in all its bare-skin glory.
“I need a picture of you like this to take with me,” I blurted.