"The Better Off Dead club?" Claire repeated aloud, horrified. "He's kidding, right?" There was Michael's picture, probably right out of the Morganville High yearbook, inset as a graphic into a tombstone.
With crudely drawn-in fangs.
orize the face, kibbles. He's the newest addition to the Better Off Dead club!
"The Better Off Dead club?" Claire repeated aloud, horrified. "He's kidding, right?" There was Michael's picture, probably right out of the Morganville High yearbook, inset as a graphic into a tombstone.
With crudely drawn-in fangs.
"Captain Obvious never comes out and tells anyone to kill, " Michael said. "He's pretty careful about how he phrases things. " Her friend was angry, Claire saw. And scared. "He's got our address listed. And all your names, too, though he at least he points out none of you are really vampires. Jesus. That's not good. " Michael was getting past the shock of seeing himself outed in the paper, and was getting worried. Claire was already there.
"Well ... Why don't the vampires do something about him? Stop him?"
"They've tried. They've arrested three people in the last two years and said they were Captain Obvious. Turned out they didn't know anything. The Captain could teach the CIA a thing or two about running a secret operation. "
"So he's not that obvious, " Claire said.
"I think he means it in the ironic sense. " Michael swallowed a quick gulp of coffee. "Claire, I don't like this. Not like we didn't have enough trouble without this kind of -- "
Eve slammed in the kitchen door, which hit the wall with a thunderous boom, startling both of them. She clomped across the kitchen floor, and leaned on the breakfast table. She wasn't very Goth today; her hair was still matte-block, but it was worn back in a simple ponytail, and the plain knit shirt and black pants didn't have a skull anywhere in view. No makeup, either. She almost looked ... Normal. Which was so wrong.
"All right, " she said, and slapped down a second copy of The Fang Report in front of Michael. "Please tell me you have a snappy comeback for this. "
"I'll make sure the three of you are safe. "
"Oh, so not what I was looking for! Look, I'm not worried about us! We're not the ones Photoshopped into tombstones!" Eve looked at the picture again. "Although yes, better dead than that hairdo ... God, was that your prom photo?"
Michael grabbed the paper back and put it face down on the table. "Eve, nothing is going to happen. Captain Obvious just loves to talk. Nobody's going to come after me. "
"Right, " a new voice said. It was Shane. He'd come in behind Eve, clearly wanting to watch the fireworks, and now he leaned against the wall next to the stove and crossed his arms. "By all means, let's keep on shoveling the bull, " he said. "It's trouble, and you know it. " Claire waited for him to come over to the table and join the three of them, the way things used to be.
He didn't. He crossed his arms. Shane hadn't willingly stayed long in the same room with Michael since ... The change. And he wouldn't look at him, except in angles and side glances. He'd also taken to wearing one of Eve's silver crosses, although just now it was hidden beneath the neck of the gray t-shirt he was wearing. Claire found her eyes fixing on the just-visible outline of it.
Eve ignored Shane; her big, dark eyes were fixed on Michael. "You know they'll all be gunning for you now, right? All the would-be Buffys?" Claire had seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but she had no idea how Eve had managed; it was contraband in Morganville, along with every other movie or book featuring vampires. Or vampire-killing, more to the point. Internet downloads were strictly controlled, too, though no doubt there was a hot black market in those kinds of things that Eve was tapped into.