There were other things going on in the main reception area - a couple of drunks handcuffed to a huge wooden bench, some lawyers getting a cup of coffee from a big silver pot near the back.
Everything stopped. Even the drunks.
The desk sergeant looked up, and she saw a weary anger in his eyes before he put on a blank, hard expression. "Have a seat," he said. "I'll see if he's here."
He turned away and picked up a phone. Claire didn't watch him make the call. She was too lost in her own misery. She stared down at the writing on the scroll and wished she knew what was inside - but then, it might make it worse if she did know. I'm only a messenger.
Yeah, that was going to make her sleep nights.
The desk sergeant spoke quietly and hung up, but he didn't come back to the counter. Avoiding her, she assumed; she was getting used to that. The good people avoided her, the bad people sucked up to her. It was depressing.
Her tattoo itched. She rubbed the cloth of her shirt over it, and watched the reinforced door that led into the rest of the police station.
Detective Hess came out just about a minute later. He was smiling when he saw her, and that hurt. Badly. He'd been one of the first adults to really be helpful to her in Morganville - he and his partner, Detective Lowe, had gone out of their way for her not just once, but several times. And now she was doing this to him.
She felt sick as she rose to her feet.
"Claire. Always a pleasure," he said, and it sounded like he actually meant it. "This way."
The desk sergeant held out a badge as she passed. She clipped it on her shirt and followed Joe Hess into a big, plain open area. His desk was near the back of the room, next to a matching one that had his partner's nameplate on the edge. Nothing fancy. Nobody had a lot of personal stuff on their desks. She supposed that maybe it wasn't a good idea to have breakables, if you interviewed angry people all day.
She settled into a chair next to his desk, and he took a seat, leaned forward, and rested his elbows on his knees. He had a kind face, and he wasn't trying to intimidate her. In fact, she had the impression he was trying to make it easy on her.
"How are you holding up?" he asked her, which was the same thing Richard Morrell had said. She wondered if she looked that damaged. Probably.
Claire swallowed and looked down at her hands, and the scroll held in her right one. She slowly stretched it out toward him. "I'm sorry," she said. "Sir, I'm . . . so sorry." She wanted to explain to him, but there really didn't seem to be much to excuse it at the moment. She was here. She was doing what Bishop wanted her to do.
This time, she'd chosen to do it.
No excuse for that.
"Don't blame yourself," Detective Hess said, and plucked the scroll from her fingers. "Claire, none of this is your fault. You understand that, right? You're not to blame for Bishop, or anything else that's screwed up around here. You did your best."
"Wasn't good enough, was it?"
He watched her for another long second, then shook his head and snapped the seals on the scroll. "If anybody failed, it was Amelie," he said. "We just have to figure out how to survive now. We're in uncharted territory."
He unrolled the scroll. His hands were steady and his expression carefully still. He didn't want to scare her, she realized. He didn't want her to feel guilty.
Detective Hess read the contents of the paper, then let it roll up again into a loose curl. He set it on his desk, on top of a leaning tower of file folders.
She had to ask. "What is it?"
"Nothing you need to worry about," he said, which couldn't have been true. "You did your job, Claire. Go on, now. And promise me . . ." He hesitated, then sat back in his chair and opened a file folder so he could look busy. "Promise me you won't do anything stupid."
She couldn't promise that. She had the feeling she'd already been stupid three or four times since breakfast.
But she nodded, because it was really all she could do for him.
He gave her a distracted smile. "Sorry. Busy around here," he said. That was a lie; there was almost nobody in the room. He tapped a pencil on the open file. "I've got court this morning. You go on now. I'll see you soon."
"Joe - "
"Go, Claire. Thank you."
He was going to protect her; she could see that. Protect her from the consequences of what she'd done.
She couldn't think how she would ever really pay him back for that.