Sacrifice of Love(19)

Lilly was gone, at least for now. Once the threat of his brother had been neutralized he would go and get her back. He only hoped that her heart did not move on while he fought to keep her safe and alive.

Decebel closed the door quietly behind him as he walked into the room Jennifer and he shared at the Romanian pack mansion. He watched quietly as Jennifer went into the closet and began bringing out clothes and laying them on the bed. She didn’t look at him or even acknowledge that he was in the room, so he waited. He didn’t have any idea what he was going to say to her, but he was terrified that as soon as he opened his mouth it was going to be to beg her to stay and plead for her forgiveness. He had hurt her so much in the past month, and he knew that she would only continue to hurt. What choice do I have he growled to himself. He wanted to save the life of their child, and he didn’t want to put Jennifer in a place where she had to choose between him or their baby. This was the only solution he could come up with, and he knew Jennifer would tell him it sucked and to come up with something new, but he was fresh out of new.

“Are you going to tell me why you are okay with letting your pregnant wife fly halfway around the world with a woman who is being hunted by a crazy warlock?” her voice was calm and even.

Decebel took a step towards her but she held up her hand to stop him.

“Answer me, B,” she told him firmly.

“I love you, Jennifer. I love you more than any man has a right to love. That is all you need to know.” He tried to implore her with his eyes to just trust him. But could he really ask that of her when he knew he was planning on ending his life without telling her.

“As romantic and fuzzy as that sounds, it’s a crap answer Dec and you know it.” Jen grabbed her suitcase from the closet and started putting the clothes she had laid on her bed into it.  She let out a dry laugh that said she was anything but humored. “I mean seriously, after all we’ve been through together? After all we’ve done together, you honestly believe I will just take what you’re telling me and act like I have my head shoved so far up my butt that I can’t smell the shit you have spewing from your lips?”

His eyes widened at her language. He was use to her being crass, but even for her this was intense.

“Yeah, I said it,” she threw her arms out wide, “what are you going to do about it, Alpha? Tell me another sweet nothing and hope that I choke on it so I can ignore the fact that my mate is shutting me out and shipping me and his unborn child off to another country without so much as a  ‘bye babe, hope our baby lives through delivery.’ Come on, Dec. What the hell is that?!”

Decebel turned abruptly and slammed his fists into the wall tearing through the plaster even as her words tore through his heart.

“HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK SUCH A THING?” he snarled but kept his back to her. “You have no concept of the pain that I am going through right now, mate.” he turned slowly to face her as his breathing increased and he fought for control to keep from phasing. “The thought of you gone, where I can’t touch you, can’t hold you, can’t be there if you need me, is like a hot skewer being shoved into my gut.”

“How am I supposed to know Decebel?” she snarled right back. “You won’t let me in. You hide your thoughts from me. You keep your touch from me. It’s like you can’t stand to be with me. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?” Tears were sliding down her cheeks and she had abandoned the half packed suitcase.

Their eyes met and the pain they both felt radiated between them. Decebel stumbled forward and fell to his knees in front of her.

“Please, I know I don’t deserve it, but please trust me,” he whispered against her stomach as he leaned against her.

Jen closed her eyes and soaked up the contact as she ran her fingers through his dark hair. It had grown enough in the past couple of months that it dropped in front of his eyes, adding to his off-limits allure.

She felt more tears slide down her cheeks and drop onto his face as he looked up at her. Decebel stood and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly as he could without hurting her.

“Baby,” he whispered against her hair. He breathed in her scent and could taste her on his tongue and he longed for the nights of shared laughter, whispers, and love. “I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. But you have to believe me, I love you, I love our baby, and I’m not abandoning you.”

Jen shuddered as she felt his breath against her neck and his hands run up her back, firm and confident in his touch. She loved that about him. He saw what he wanted and he just took it. He had wanted her, and he had taken her and she had gone willingly with a big fat grin on her face. That felt like ages ago, but it hadn’t even been a year. She never thought she would need anyone, not the way she needed Decebel. As he held her, asking her to trust him, even though he wouldn’t tell her what he was keeping from her, she knew she would. She would give Decebel anything he asked for, even if it broke her heart to do so.

“Promise me you will be alright,” she told him as she pulled back far enough to be able to look up into his amber eyes, “promise me that you will come for me and your child. Promise me that,” her words were cut off with a choke as she tried to keep from falling apart.

“Shh, Jennifer,” he told her gently. He kissed her forehead, her cheeks, her chin, and then her lips. Decebel’s hand slipped up into Jennifer’s hair on either side of her face, holding her still as he took her mouth in his. He kissed her deeply imprinting his taste in her mind, his love in her heart, and, as usual, she gave as good as she got. He nipped at her lips and smiled when she moaned and pressed her swollen body against his. He continued to kiss her but let one of his hands slid down until it rested on her stomach. She gasped as she pulled back from the kiss and pressed her forehead to his. Her eyes met his as she covered his hand with her own.

“I love you,” her whisper reached into the dark places that were beginning to form as their bond began to weaken. He pushed the thought from his mind and focused on the woman in his arms―his woman.

“Sometimes I love you seems inadequate for what I feel for you,” he whispered back.

“Please tell me to stay,” Jennifer pleaded with him and it brought a fresh wave of anguish.

“I want you to baby, more than you know. But you need to go. You will be safe there.”

Decebel’s wolf snarled at him. We make her safe, he told the man. We protect her; she is ours. He couldn’t argue with his wolf because all of those things were true, but the man knew that sometimes protecting meant letting go of the one needing protection, no matter how badly you want to hold on.

Jen waited, but he didn’t say anything more. She pulled him tighter against her, trying to memorize the feel of his body.

“I’ll go,” she told him finally, “but I’m still pissed at you.”

A small smile curved the side of his lips and she reached up to kiss him.

“It is noted that you are still pissed,” he told her in between kisses.

Their kiss grew more and more intense as words seemed incapable of describing the love and need that had been growing in both of them. Jen grabbed on to him like he was a life raft in a turbulent storm. Her hands roamed over him and he didn’t stop her the way he had so many times before.