“I think of you. When darkness swirls around me like a turbulent storm, when the very breath I take seems to tax my soul, when despair is my constant shadow; I think of you. I hear your voice, I smell your scent, and I feel your skin upon my own. Your pain is my own, your fear my best friend, and even though all hope seems to have seeped from the world leaving only despair, still, I think of you.” ~ Sally
Darkness enveloped her. She couldn’t move her limbs even though she was telling herself to. What she could feel was pain, panic, fear, anger, hate, rage, and many more emotions that she knew did not belong to her. Jacque tried to think back to what her last memory had been. She had been walking through the forest and then she had walked into a pond. Bloody hell she thought, I walked into a freaking pond? She remembered thinking it was the best idea she had ever had and just knew that if she went into the water she would find peace. Well that plan was shot to hell. Fane was gone, he was hurting, and she couldn’t reach him. Jacque could feel him, sense him through their bond, but she couldn’t talk to him.
She couldn’t open her eyes, couldn’t talk, but she could breathe. That was a good thing right? She was trying to think about the positive, but the more she felt Fane’s despair, the further away the positive slipped from her grasp.
Jacque could even hear her friends’ voices. She had heard Jen’s declaration to kick Mona’s ass and had wanted to join in the howl, had felt her wolf perk up, but she was just as paralyzed as Jacque. She remembered Mona causing her body to betray her by using her voice to speak and that had flat out pissed her off and she had pushed with everything left inside her to get the witch out of her mind. It had used up all of her energy and for a while, she felt like she was drifting further from the living into the shadow world. But, she refused to drift off into the emptiness without a fight. Jacque would not go quietly, not as long as drew breath, not as long as her heart pumped blood through her frozen body.
She knew Mona had done something to her and she just kept hoping that Rachel, Peri, and Sally could figure out a way to fix it. Jacque needed to be able to help them, because she didn’t know how much longer their mates could last in the hell Mona had sent them to endure. She didn’t know how long before the state of their mates began to affect them, and if their mates died, then they were all dead.
Q
Sally sat staring off into the dark forest. They had been walking for what seemed like weeks, though it had merely been days. It was dark even though night had not yet fallen. Clouds continually blocked the sun and winter seemed to be clinging to the land as the evil that Mona was weaving continued to take over more and more of their world. Sally wondered if others noticed if the humans, who knew nothing of the supernatural world, picked up on the evil that was bleeding into the world. Evil beyond what they had could have ever imagined.
Sally knew that Alina had explained to them that the bonds with their mates wouldn't work in the In-Between, but she felt Costin. She couldn’t communicate with him, but she felt his emotions. It was exhausting and terrifying, but she wouldn’t wish it away. Sally would rather feel something, anything, than nothing at all. She wondered if he could feel her, if he knew that she was seeking a way to get him back. Did he truly know what he meant to her, had she told him? Sally began to doubt herself, doubt the bond between them. She felt so inadequate to be his mate. Costin was so confident, so funny, full of life, and she felt so bland next to him. He so openly expressed his feelings for her, continually telling her how much he loved her, and she would shy away, like a child. Her head fell forward into her hands as she felt the weight of reality fall onto her like a cloak. It covered her in doubt, fear, and she felt despair like she had never known.
“Sally,” she heard the gentle voice behind her and turned to see Alina standing there. Strong, secure, sure Alina. How could Sally even dream that she could be that kind of mate to Costin.
“Sally, stop this,” Alina told her firmly.
“I can feel him Alina,” Sally told her, her voice tight. “How can I feel him?”
Alina shook her head as she took a seat on the rock next to the healer.
“I don’t know. I can feel Vasile as well and it shouldn’t be possible. We shouldn’t be able to sense them at all. The only thing I can come up with is that Mona is somehow allowing the contact, but it’s one sided. I can’t reach out to him.”
Sally nodded, “I keep trying to tell him it’s okay, but he’s lost in some horrible terror. I’ve never felt anything like it.”
Alina wrapped an arm around Sally and pulled her close.
“We have to fight the despair that is coming through the bond. Mona’s goal must be to debilitate us with the emotions our mates are feeling. As much, I would like to know what Vasile is going through so that I could help him through it. I am afraid that if I knew I would be of no use to him.”
Jen came into view as she walked around to stand in front of them.
“I talked with Decebel.”
Their heads snapped up, and the other females were on their feet.
“What?” The question came from each of them.
“I was dreaming, but I know it was real. He was calling for me and he answered me when I spoke to him.” Jen’s voice shook with emotion.
“What did he say?” Crina asked cautiously, not really sure if she wanted to know.
Jen shook her head, letting out a shuddering breath. “He was broken. I’ve never heard, such fear and pain. Decebel said that he couldn’t watch it again. He said he was trying to stop him from touching me.”
“They are seeing their worst fears,” Peri told them from where she leaned against a tree staring off into the forest. “You know what your males fear.” She left the statement hanging.
Alina nodded. “The ultimate horror for our males would be for them to have to watch another male touch us, to see us in pain, and to watch us die horrible deaths.”
Jen growled and her eyes narrowed, when she realized what they were saying. “Are you telling me that Decebel is watching me be raped?”
Alina nodded, while gasps echoed across the group.
“And, more than likely, he is probably watching you give birth with horrific out comes.” Peri added.
Alina growled, “Not helping Perizada.”
Peri shrugged, “Anger is motivation. The males of your race are intense. I don’t think we will ever fully grasp just how much they feel for their mates. They will not last long with their sanity intact if they continue to have to watch their greatest fears and insecurities played out like a broken reel. Their wolves will soon take over and they will become feral.”