The Queen's Secret (The Queen's Secret #2) - Melissa de la Cruz Page 0,63

the races. They should have thrown themselves in the way of danger. Instead they were too busy tying ribbons to things and simpering with the ladies. One of them should have been cut to shreds with those iron knives, not a fine horse. A travesty!”

Cal stands to take his leave. Lilac turns her head away and says nothing. She’s out of sorts, clearly. Maybe she’s ill, or looking wan because she’s been cooped up. Worried about her mother too, and distressed because of Violla Ruza burning.

On the winding staircase down, a horrible thought hits him. Maybe the reason Lilac looks so pale and tired is that she’s expecting a child. This perhaps is why she has visited the Small Council meeting in such a temper, simply to argue that Cal should be in Renovia still and not back in Mont.

Perhaps she doesn’t want him here at all. He wasn’t expected back for months, and turning up like this might be the last thing Lilac needs.

Not when she’s carrying Hansen’s child.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lilac

Everything rattles me. My mother’s arrival. The return of Cal. Seeing Cal at the Small Council meeting yesterday. I didn’t behave well, I know. Everything irritates me at present; I’m on edge all the time. I’m still shocked by the incident at the Winter Races, and in mourning for Father Juniper, and reeling from the loss of Violla Ruza and many of my family’s most faithful friends and attendants.

My mother is safe, thank Deia, but my mother is also in my room, sleeping in my bed with me. This isn’t like her. She only suggested it, I realized later, after we witnessed Cal’s arrival.

She sees everything, and what she doesn’t know, she suspects.

My mother’s presence here reminds me of my duty, and of the political ramifications of everything I do—or that is done to me. It also reminds me that I’m not in charge of my own destiny.

Queen Lilianna leaves my chambers first thing in the morning, telling me she wishes to speak to Lord Burley, and there’s no need for me to attend as well. When she returns, she sinks into a chair, ordering ginger tea and sitting there shivering while we wait for it to be delivered.

“This castle is such a cold place,” she says. “When I think of our beautiful palace in Serrone . . .”

“I know,” I say. There’s no comparison between Violla Ruza and this place. It’s horrifying to think that the jewel of Renovia lies in ruins.

“We shall be quite cozy here by the fire, I suppose.” My mother draws an ermine-trimmed blanket over her knees. “We can both read and sew.”

“Actually, I was thinking about a training session,” I tell her, pacing up and down by the window like a caged beast. The snow has stopped, and the remains have been swept into icy drifts against the walls of the yard. Maybe if I request a training session, Cal will take it himself. At the very least, I may get to see him up close. This time I can smile at him rather than snap. I need to be close to him, before I explode.

“Out of the question,” my mother says in her most serene voice, as though I were a small child who’s asked for too much honey cake. “On a day like this, you must stay safely indoors, my dear, and study your Montrician history.”

Daffran, the Chief Scribe, has sent some dusty volumes up for me to read. Lady Marguerite was summoned to collect them not long after my mother set out for her audience with Lord Burley, and she returned complaining about the weight of them, and about the impertinence of the guards outside the tower.

The books smell of must and taper wax. My mother wants me to learn more about my adopted home, so I can dazzle the courtiers here with my knowledge of its history and traditions. Most of the courtiers are gone, though, and the ones who remain are Hansen’s greatest friends—in other words, the stupidest ones, who care more about the finer points of trout fishing than who begat whom hundreds of years ago.

“It’s not that cold, and I can’t stay inside for the rest of my life,” I tell her, trying to stay calm. My request isn’t unreasonable. I’ve slept in forests, scaled trees, been washed down rivers, and climbed cliffs; I’ve fought wild beasts and demons. Just because I pretended to be a delicate flower to the Small Council doesn’t mean I really am