“What was her name?” Keira’s soft voice asked from behind. This was before she came to stand next to me, mimicking my stance as she too rested her weight against the golden balustrades. Needless to say, each had been carved into the form of a naked, sexually bound girl that mirrored those of the waitresses that had walked in earlier.
I released a sigh and spoke the name I hadn’t allowed to pass through my lips since the day I became something demonic.
“Her name was Kala.” Keira smiled and murmured gently,
“That’s a pretty name.”
“How did she die?” was Keira’s next question, and not one that surprised me. It was also not a question I quickly answered, as I confess to needing the moment to compose my emotions before I told her,
“She drowned.” The moment Keira sucked in a shuddered breath, I turned from the view to take in Amelia's beautiful mother. The kind hearted soul of Keira had always struck me. It was not surprising then that at one time I foolishly believed myself to feel something more for her. Of course, it was not hard to know why, for Keira was both beautiful inside and out. But my connection with her was one that I knew had been fated from the start, because as the years passed, it would turn out that she would be the one to bring me the greatest love of my life. Yet, knowing what I knew now, it didn't diminish what we once had, it only morphed my fascination with her into one of appreciation and friendship.
“I'm so sorry, Lucius. Why didn't you ever tell me?”
“There is much of my life I walked away from, Keira girl, and as for my daughter, well she was sacred to me… besides, once changed, I also came to realise that memories could have power over you.” Keira nodded as if understanding this more than I could truly know, and I respected that.
“Tell me what happened, Lucius.” I ran a hand through my hair, holding its strands captive for a few seconds before letting them go on a held breath.
“Matthias, this unknown brother of mine, terrorised my wife and turned an already fragile mind into one of hysteria, for unbeknown at the time, she had suffered from prenatal depression. She confessed to me that she’d started to hear voices, but I didn't believe her. She had always been the type to try and gain my attention through lies, so I ignored the warning signs as they arose. To be honest, even after I changed and became what I am now, I didn't think too much about it. Too much pain had passed between us, and I blamed myself,” I told her, making her suck in a breath before asking in disbelief,
“You blamed yourself… But why?”
“I left my daughter's care to a woman I knew was barely capable of taking care of herself, let alone our child. I was one of Jesus’ disciples, unsurprisingly the title takes a lot of your time in spreading God’s word. Yet, despite her struggles, I never believed her capable of… of what she did,” I admitted shamefully.
“What happened, Luc?” Keira asked in a soft and soothing voice, one I knew was filled with emotion, both sorrow and regret on my behalf.
I closed my eyes, feeling my body tense as my fingers curled into fists at the very thought of going back that far in my memories. But yet, it was one that unsurprisingly I still held every single detail of. It was still there in my mind, locked away in the prison I had cast it to. Because you never forget moments like that. The moments where your life changed forever. It was as if your mind knew that it had just experienced a crucial point in life, and it held onto every aspect as though it would one day be needed. The birth of your children, the moment you get to hold them in your arms, or when you meet your soul mate for the first time. The first time you make love to them, or eventually are lucky enough to marry them. The crossroads of life were filled with moments like this and no matter how much you tried, those memories would not fade.
Not even after 2000 years of praying that they would. That one day you may wake up and suddenly find yourself free of the chains of pain that had entwined themselves around your heart.