Queen of Quarantine (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep #4) - Caroline Peckham Page 0,45

“And why aren’t you climbing the walls right now?”

He grabbed my waist, tugging me flush to his body and kissing me, his tongue driving into my mouth in controlled movements that seemed to press every button of my desire. He broke the kiss before I was even close to done with it, leaving my lips tingling and hungry for more.

“There is only one time which matters right now. And that is the time I am spending with you,” he said, his eyes devouring me as they trailed to my mouth, my throat, my breasts. “Besides, you still need rest. I am not above breaking my routine, for that purpose alone.”

“I’m completely fine now and you know it. You don’t ever break your routine,” I said. “It makes you crazy.”

“Well I am hopelessly crazy then, I suppose,” he said, sounding entirely sane and sexy as hell. He pushed me over onto my back, moving on top of me in a fluid motion, pressing his weight down as the tip of his hard cock slipped against my slick entrance.

A breath snagged in my throat as I gripped his powerful shoulders, raising my hips as I urged him to take me. But he didn’t, he smiled darkly, watching my expression as he held me in suspense, revelling in having me in this position. I still couldn’t quite believe he wasn’t descending into world war three right now over the damn time. But I certainly wasn’t complaining.

“Aren’t you craving control over your day?” I asked huskily as he trailed a line of kisses along my jaw, each one considered and deliberate.

“I have you at my mercy, how much more control could any man desire in this world or the next?”

My stomach fluttered and I turned my head to seek out his mouth, but he denied me it, forcing my head back the other way with his fingers so he could continue delivering kisses how and where he wanted.

“You’re actually a total romantic, do you realise that?” I teased breathlessly, my core so soaked, I was pawing at his hips in an effort to draw him into me. But he’d probably have me fall like the Berlin Wall before he gave me what I wanted.

“Romance is a concept. I simply speak the truth as I perceive it,” he reasoned.

“That’s what makes it romantic,” I continued to taunt him, running my hands down the hard planes of his muscular back. He flexed over me, a growl rumbling through him that reminded me of the animal in him who had claimed me last night. He’d finally relinquished control. Complete and utter control. And it had been for me. Maybe he really didn’t need his routine today.

“So are you going to live wildly now? Get up at seven minutes past any hour you like, skip the gym and eat a bowl of Cap’n Crunch for breakfast?” I joked, but he winced, his expression becoming tight.

He tried to draw away, but I gripped his arms, refusing to let him go as guilt washed through me.

His eyes moved somewhere beyond my head as he sighed. “I know that I’m difficult, I know I’m not like other people…”

“I didn’t mean to upset you. In fact, I want to understand. Explain it to me,” I asked seriously. “Tell me what it’s like.”

Saint drew in a long breath, regarding me as he brushed a lock of golden hair behind my ear. “There’s a deep, burning need in me for everything to be wholly unchangeable. Sometimes, I can find a single moment that lasts a few seconds where I hold my breath and my entire existence seems worthwhile. Everything is still, clean, perfect. Every error in my past is erased, every blip, tarnish, and stain vanishes until all I can see is a pure, white sea of calm. But I can’t hold onto it. It slips through my fingers like grains of sand, piece by glorious piece until I’m left trying to pick each one of them up off of the ground. It’s…chaos.”

“That sounds like a nightmare,” I breathed sadly and he nodded, his thumb skimming smoothly across the swell of my throat.

“With each grain of sand that falls, I face each failure in myself once more, until I remember how disgustingly average I really am. Yet every time, I trick myself into thinking I can find that place of perfection again. That the next time I reach it, I’ll keep it. Next time, it will be here to stay. I hold myself to