Queen (Cats of Felidae Academy #4) - River Ramsey Page 0,9

would be so much better to lie and pretend he didn’t care. That it hadn’t hurt, even if it had no right to.

She looked away, chewing on her bottom lip. “I guess I just didn’t know how.”

“But you told Axel.”

She nodded guiltily. “It’s different.”

“Why?”

She frowned. “It’s just… I know where I stand with him, for better or worse. I always have. What he thinks is what he says and does, and there’s never any guessing what’s really underneath. With you…”

“It’s different,” he murmured.

She nodded. “It’s been hard. I’ve felt like I don’t even know you lately, even before all this happened. I guess I was just afraid things would change when I told you, and I wanted to wait for as long as possible.”

“I see.”

She looked up at him, fear in her gaze. “You don’t want this baby.”

Her words took him by surprise, but they weren’t said in an accusatory tone. It wasn’t really a question, either. She was just stating a simple fact she had come to believe, and while he knew it had to hurt her, she didn’t show it.

“I don’t know what I want,” he admitted. That was as close to the truth as he could give her. “I know I didn’t handle it well, and if I could go back and change it, I would. I’m sorry, Ella. There’s part of me that doesn’t even understand myself lately, and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been. I wish I could give you more.”

She shook her head, tears in her eyes. “No. It’s enough,” she said, slipping her arms around him. He pulled her in close, letting himself fully breathe in her scent. Whenever she was in his arms, the bond seemed to solidify. To become real, no matter how much he’d tried to convince himself otherwise. “You don’t have to be anything you’re not. Whatever you think I’m going to feel or say… let’s just promise each other we’ll be honest from now on, okay? No more secrets.”

“Yeah,” he said in a low tone, stroking her hair as he pulled her down onto the bed next to him. “No more secrets.”

She nuzzled into his neck contentedly, and before long, he heard her breathing steadily like she was asleep. Bishop lay awake, holding her in his arms, and gave up on any hope of sleeping. He wanted to enjoy this moment while it lasted. While he would allow himself to hold her, and pretend she was really his.

Chapter 6

Ella

Two months later

The coronation was fast approaching, and Ella still couldn't bring herself to accept that Natalia was gone. She seemed to be the only one, considering how excited everyone else at the Academy was for the coronation. It felt wrong, and Ella felt guilty, even though she certainly wasn't looking forward to it herself.

It would help if she knew where Bishop’s head was at. Despite his assurances that everything was all right between them, he still felt a million miles away even when he was in the same bed. He had moved permanently into the same house with her and Axel, and to her relief, they had yet to tear it down or kill each other.

To be fair, between school, preparations for the coronation, and doctor’s appointments, they hadn't been there long enough to have the time.

That afternoon, they were both still in class while Ella had taken off early. Her morning sickness was getting the best of her, and she knew if she mentioned anything to Axel, he would've been there already. The truth was, she just needed some time to think.

After putting away the laundry and doing whatever busywork she could to keep her mind occupied, Ella picked up the gown sitting in a laundry bag that had been delivered earlier that week. She hadn't actually looked at it yet. She figured she might as well in case it needed adjustments. At the rate her belly was growing, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had outgrown it since the last time she'd been to the tailor.

The gown was a splendid silver hue, made of fine silk that cascaded like a waterfall. She reluctantly tried it on, and was relieved when it fit. The empire waist was elegant, and it was the first time she'd worn something during the later stages of her pregnancy that didn't make her feel like a blimp. It was more like a wedding dress than anything, but she figured that was fitting, considering the coronation