Queen (Cats of Felidae Academy #4) - River Ramsey Page 0,42

he felt even guiltier. He didn’t deserve any of it: the family life, the quaint little house, the most incredible woman in the world calling him her mate. Every time he saw his mark on her neck, he was reminded of just how absurd it was that he still had all of it, and how afraid he was that one day, he was going to wake up and realize he’d lost it. That Ella would come to her senses and realize he wasn’t worth forgiving, let alone loving.

As he made dinner, he contented himself with listening to Luna’s coos and Ella’s soothing voice calming her whenever she started fussing.

“Here,” he said, setting a plate down in front of Ella. “If you want, I can hold her while you eat.”

He didn’t mean to sound so hesitant, but even that felt like asking too much. Luna was the most precious thing in their lives, and the fact that any of them trusted him around her at all was at once humbling and concerning.

“That would be great. She hasn’t let me put her down all day,” Ella said with a sigh. “Thank you for dinner. This looks amazing.”

“Of course,” he said, carefully taking Luna from her arms. He couldn’t help but smile as he gazed down at the baby girl, and she stared back up at him, her eyes wide with the same fascination she’d shown the first time he’d held her. “Got a lot to say, don’t you?”

When he looked up, Ella was watching him, smiling.

“What is it?”

“You’re just good with her,” she said quietly. “It’s sweet.”

He wasn’t sure what to say in response to that. Yeah, she’d stopped fussing, but for all he knew, that was just because she instinctively feared him. That thought kept him from sleeping at all some nights.

What was it going to be like when she was old enough to know the truth? When the kids at school inevitably started whispering stories about her grandmother?

“Bishop, what is it?” Ella pressed.

She knew him so well. Sometimes so well it scared him. No one knew him better than he did, so if he hated himself, it was only a matter of time before she hated him, too.

“Nothing. Just a long day.”

She gave him a knowing look and put her fork down. “Bishop, you can talk to me. That’s the deal we both made, isn’t it? We talk to each other.”

He nodded. “Yeah,” he said hoarsely. “I guess it’s just the usual. I’ve been thinking about the future a lot lately. Luna’s future.”

Her eyes softened with understanding, and she reached for his hand. “You’re part of that future, Bishop. Part of this family. Whatever comes, we’re going to face it together. And if there’s one thing I know about Luna’s future, it’s that she’s going to know she’s the most loved little girl there ever has been.”

His throat tightened as she spoke the words he needed to hear, even though he knew he didn’t deserve them. He just nodded, smiling down at their daughter. “Yeah. She certainly is.”

Chapter 21

Ella

“Are you sure you’re ready?”

Ella smiled up at Sterling, sitting across from him on the huge bed they shared with the others most nights. That night, it was just the two of them. Bishop and Axel had taken Luna over to Emily’s for a visit, and while Ella had been wary of how Emily would take to the role of grandmother, she was a hell of a lot better at it than she was at being a guardian.

She’d been surprisingly decent as a mother-in-law, though, and Ella was trying to get past the enmity between them. It helped knowing Emily worshiped her granddaughter. If they didn’t watch it, she was going to end up as spoiled as Axel.

That night, her focus was on Sterling, the man she had so recently taken as her mate even though her heart had belonged to him for so much longer.

“Absolutely,” she said without a hint of hesitation. She had been waiting for this moment for so long. The moment when she and Sterling would finally become one the way she already had with Bishop and Axel.

Ever since she had publicly declared Sterling as her mate, things had been easier than she had ever dared to hope. There were those who questioned their relationship, as they did with every other decision she had made since becoming Empress, but she had learned to tune them out. At least when it came to her personal decisions.

Ella’s greatest fear about