his clothes at the club. He thought I’d be sleeping at that hour anyway, that he could just sneak in and change in the guest room, but the nice policeman took him to jail and then he called me to bail him out.”
“Holy crap! So you go to the jail and there he is dressed up like Cher?”
“All except the wig. He had to take it off for his mug shot.”
“So you were pretty shocked.”
“You could say that. Yeah.”
“Then what?”
“We had words. He felt I was being cruel to him, that if I loved him, I should just love him no matter what he was wearing.”
“You know, that actually kind of sounds fair to me,” I said, “but I’m not the one struggling with it.”
“Well, that’s just it, isn’t it? He’s right. If I love him, I love him. My problem is the deceit. Charlie was always a little bit effeminate. The world knew that. That’s fine with me. He played some sports, tennis and golf, and he got along with the jocks. In fact, I always liked him because he was more compassionate or nicer than the other guys. He was a sweetheart. It’s why I fell in love with him in the first place. But this deceit was so huge, I just freaked out.”
“Well, I understand that. I hate lying. Especially given the nature of the lie. So now what?”
“I don’t know. It turns out that he’s a super talented lip-sync impersonator. Some big producer in Vegas wants to have him audition for some huge lip-sync group. The money is crazy.”
“Are you for real?”
“Oh, yeah. Apparently, there’s big money in this business. And here’s the thing, Charlie doesn’t really need the money. He got oodles from his dad’s estate. But pretending to be Cher makes Charlie happier than I’ve ever seen him. I mean, he’s downright dizzy with happiness!”
“Was Cher at breakfast?”
“Good grief, no! We had breakfast at the Sand Dollar on the Isle of Palms.”
“Yeah, I can see him getting some heat here.” I thought then that perhaps they had made some kind of peace with each other. “So where did you leave it with him?”
“Well, I’m beginning to understand this aspect of Charlie’s personality a little better. And he’s agreed to compromise with me on certain things.”
“Such as?”
“Such as not showing up unannounced at my mother’s dressed as Charlene. I just told him, I said, ‘Charlie? My momma’s an older lady, from another generation, and she just can’t take it. And Momma feels like you duped me by not telling me in the first place. She needs to know you’re the same wonderful man that married her daughter.’ I’ll tell you, Holly, him showing up as Charlene with no warning wasn’t nice. I mean, how about a heads-up?”
“But I seem to remember you laughing!” I said.
“Nervously. Because I didn’t know what else to do!” she said.
“Yeah, I don’t think I would’ve known what to do, either.”
“He wants me to come to Vegas with him to watch this competition.”
“Are you going to go?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, let’s think about it.”
“How did last night go?”
“Terrific,” I said and then told her about Sharon’s strawberry allergy.
I thought she was going to burst a blood vessel, she laughed so hard. I mean, she really laughed more than I thought she should have. I wrote it off to her anxiety over dealing with Charlie’s new ambitions.
“I know. How terrible, right?” I said. “I’ll see you later.”
The boys were just coming up the steps and I was almost right behind them.
“Hey! How was school?”
They babbled on while I got the door open and then they followed me inside, still talking a mile a minute.
“Anybody want a snack?”
“Yes!” they said.
“Okay, backpacks down and go wash your hands!”
They scattered like mercury and were back in a flash.
I put sliced apples and peanut butter in front of them on a platter to share, and I sat down at the table with them.
“Okay, Tyler, you first. Tell me every single thing that happened to you today, and make sure you include at least one good thing. Hunter? You should be thinking about what you’re going to say.”
They told me their stories about math and lunch and recess and what was coming up and who they played with and what games they played. By the time they were finished talking, the platter was empty.
“Okay! Now, who’s got homework?”
Worksheets were pulled from their backpacks and they got down to business. I quizzed Tyler