before I found your father’s condoms in the air conditioner filter.”
“And I was a helluva lot happier before Charlie became Cher’s long-lost identical twin!”
“I guess we all have our problems,” I said.
“I’ve been telling you girls that for years,” Momma said.
We got to MUSC, found parking, took Momma in, filled out all the forms, and then we waited an eternity until they came to get her.
“Good luck, Momma,” I said. “I know you’ll do fine.”
“Thanks, sweetie,” she said and gave me a hug.
Leslie said something similar, and Momma hugged her, too. The attendant asked her to sit in the wheelchair and then wheeled her through the swinging doors.
“She called me sweetie,” I said.
“I know. She must be terrified. I’m calling Suzanne,” Leslie said. She got up and walked outside to get better reception.
I waited a few minutes, then I checked my cell phone for messages. There was a text from Archie.
At some point I’d like us to talk.
That was it. So I texted him back.
Sure.
I figured short and sweet was the best. I didn’t gush all over him. I didn’t even ask what he wanted to talk about. Sharon wasn’t even in the ground for forty-eight hours and he needs to talk to me? About what?
Leslie came back.
“That was quick,” I said.
“I left a message,” she said. “What’s the matter?”
I showed her Archie’s text and she sucked her teeth, making that snick sound.
“You want to know what I think?”
Leslie had bailed on Team Archie when he rejected her.
“Of course I do!”
“I think he’s wondering if you’re going to pick up where you left off with helping him with the kids.”
“I have no intention of doing that.”
“Good. Can I ask why?”
“Well, it’s a funny thing. I was watching the boys on their bikes the day after Sharon died. They were happy and laughing, on their way over to Matthew’s house. I felt like, okay, they’re fine, and I don’t have to hold them up and feed them and all that. I mean, if Archie needs a sitter or a tutor and I’m around, then fine. But I keep thinking about Archie and I keep trying to understand, how and why did he let Sharon treat his boys the way she did?”
“Because he’s a spineless idiot?”
“Or something very close to it. That was my thought. And when I tried to talk to him on the boys’ behalf, he didn’t listen to me. He thought I was being dramatic or something. I mean, I spoke to him on several occasions and really laid it on the line and still, he was not moved.”
“Well, we already know he’s got lousy judgment.”
“I think it’s worse than that. Remember I told you I had a date with this guy I used to go to school with? The acting police chief?”
“Yeah, I remember. What about it?”
“Well, he made me see Archie in a new light. Archie is a taker. He would take and take and take and then go off and marry somebody like Sharon. Ted, the guy I went out with, is a giver.”
“My Charlie was a taker of the first order.”
“Yeah, well, I think I like givers better than takers.” Then I told her about Archie at his wedding and his phone calls from Bermuda. “It made me super uncomfortable.”
“What’s the matter with him?” she said very quietly. “He knew before he married her that he was making a mistake and did it anyway. Then he goes on their honeymoon, carrying a torch for you. You tell him the awful things Sharon is doing to his little boys and he ignores you. He’s just off base all over the place. I think this guy needs a strong dose of reality check and therapy.”
“And this from a Harvard Ph.D. in religion. Shouldn’t he have a more reliable compass?”
“Yes. Yes, he should.”
“Anyway, I sort of feel like I did my thing with the boys. They’re fine and on their way. They know where to find me.”
“I hope this guy Ted remembers where to find you.”
“Oh, I expect now that the Sharon disaster is pretty much behind us, I’ll hear from him.”
“Wait a minute. Was he ignoring you until he found out her death wasn’t your fault?”
“Good Lord, no. Let’s be honest, we don’t get too many suspected homicides on the island. He was probably pretty busy figuring things out. Anyway, we’ll see.”
Leslie gave me a funny look.
“What?”
“I think I like you a lot better without Archie monopolizing your brain.”