him for expecting me to explain. But that’s a small part of the whole. The rest of me trusts him—even with this.
So I begin. “No. I was feeling good today. I had a good talk with my mom. Maybe I still feel a little... loss, but I was really doing better.”
“I thought so too. I thought you seemed... happy today.” He reaches out to take one of my hands.
“I was. I mean, I thought I was. But then Pop gave that toast.”
Damian’s brows draw together. “I heard that. I was trapped by this sweet old lady who wouldn’t shut the fuck up, but I heard the toast. I thought it was a good one.”
“It was. But it seemed to prove to me that... that... he’s a decent man now who probably wouldn’t have made things awkward with me being single. And then the nail in the coffin was that Melissa came over and said the same thing. That she was silly for even being worried about it.”
Damian has been listening thoughtfully. I see the moment understanding dawns on him. His lips part. “Ah. I get it. You didn’t need to do this whole fake marriage thing at all.”
“Right.” I drop my eyes, staring down at our clasped hands. “And it just kind of hit me how stupid I’ve been. How foolish. Steve kept saying it was an extreme overreaction. You told me the same thing. I even processed that idea myself a time or two. But I was convinced it was the only way to smooth things over with my mom. And now... now I know I was wrong. I was foolish. And I did this whole thing... for nothing.”
Damian slowly withdraws his hand. “I see.”
“I don’t know why it sent me into a panic attack,” I babble on. “The only other time I’ve had one was right before Steve and I sold out. I didn’t think this was the same.”
“Maybe it is the same. In a way. Giving up control.”
My eyes dart up, but his expression is completely unreadable. “Maybe. I just can’t stand to feel so stupid. I mean, what the hell was I thinking? Hiring a fake husband to...” I shake my head, processing the wave of shame that washes over my entire body, flushing my skin and blurring my eyes. “I must be out of my mind.”
He shakes his head and gives my hair a little flick. “Nah. You’re just human like the rest of us. We all do stupid things sometimes. And I guarantee if a lot of other people had your resources, they’d be hiring fake husbands too.”
I giggle at that. Then I can’t stop. I choke on the laughter, leaning over until my forehead almost meets my knees.
Finally I arch my neck up to meet his eyes. “You’re not stupid.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You said everyone is stupid sometimes. I’ve never seen you be stupid.” I straighten up, feeling a lot better. More myself. I have no idea how Damian is always able to pull me back to my center. “What have you ever done that’s stupid?”
“Oh please. You did one unnecessary overcontrolling thing in a lifetime of mostly good decisions. I’ve been a lot stupider than you’ve ever been.”
“Really? How? When?”
He shakes his head, not quite meeting my eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You can trust me. I’ve done things that would hurt me even though I knew better. I knew better. And I just couldn’t help myself.”
Intrigued and oddly excited, I demand, “What things? Tell me.”
“No.”
“That’s just mean. To taunt me that way.”
“Tough.”
I scowl and give his chest a little swat. “I’d tell you.”
“Would you?”
“Of course I would. I just had a panic attack in front of you and let you talk me through why it happened. Do you think I’d do that with anyone else in the world?”
There’s a little smile playing around his lips now. It’s like an old friend. “Maybe not.”
“Definitely not. Actually, if you want to know the truth, the one good thing out of this whole stupid debacle I got myself into is that I got to know you. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on that.”
His eyes are suddenly warm and rich and glinting irresistibly. “Is that right?” he asks, his voice slightly thick.
“That’s right.”
“Good. Because I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on being your fake husband for anything.”
I give a silly giggle and hug my arms to my middle. Then I glance back at the door to the room. “I guess we should