“That makes sense. I guess it probably has a shelf life. For most people.”
We lie in silence for a few minutes. I’m acutely aware of him. The smell of his soap. The sound of his breath. He feels like a real person beside me. A whole, complex, deeply defined person. So much more than just a sexy body.
“So you wouldn’t kiss clients?” I ask eventually without any segue or lead-in.
“What?” I must have startled him because he turns his head toward me sharply.
“Sorry. I guess that came out of nowhere. I was just wondering if you kissed clients.”
“Yes. I did. I do. I mean, I will.” He still sounds confused. “Why—?”
“You just said you wouldn’t do romantic kisses good night, so I thought...” I swallow hard.
“Oh. I see. Yes, I wouldn’t kiss them good night at the end of a date, but I did kiss them during if they wanted. Why are you asking me all this?”
There’s a different resonance to his final question. Maybe intrigued. Or even excited? It gives me shivers. “I’m just curious. You’re always asking me stuff, so why shouldn’t I ask you?”
“You can ask me anything you want. But it seems like tonight you’re focused on something in particular.” He scoots closer, raising his upper body slightly. “Did you want to try it out?”
“Try... it... out?”
“Yes. Kissing. Since you’re so curious. I’m a pretty good kisser, you know.”
I huff, trying desperately to find a grip on the flailing reins of my runaway thoughts. “You’re kind of smug is what you are.”
“Maybe. But I have a fairly good assessment of my own strengths. And kissing is one of them. It seems pretty clear that you’re intrigued, so why not try it out?”
“Because... because it would get messy.” I’m panting again, the way I was in the shower as I first got going toward an orgasm. And I’m uncomfortably certain that my willpower isn’t going to hold up to this line of questioning.
“Why would it get messy?”
“Because it’s... messy.”
He laughs as he reaches over and smooths my hair back from my face. “It doesn’t have to be. It’s just a kiss. Don’t you want the full experience?”
“The full... experience?” My blood is pulsing in my veins. I lick my lips. I’m panting so loudly he’s got to be hearing it.
“Of being my client. I can do a lot more than you’ve asked me to do. So why not take advantage of the benefits?” He sounds so casual. Low-key. As if he’s just teasing. Having a good time. As if none of it means anything to him.
It probably doesn’t. But he wouldn’t be suggesting we kiss if he were turned off by the idea of it. For whatever reason, he must want to—if only so he doesn’t feel like he’s getting paid for nothing.
“So what do you say?” he asks. Softer. Slightly thick.
“Okay.” That’s not what I intended to say. At all. I have no idea how the word came out.
“Yeah?”
I yell at myself to say no. That I’ve changed my mind. But instead I whisper, “Yeah.”
I lie very still as he cups my face with one hand. I’ve obviously kissed guys before, but I don’t consider myself much of an expert at this activity, so he’s going to have to take the initiative.
This was his idea after all.
He leans over until I can feel his breath on my skin. Smell the faint whiff of his toothpaste. “Clarke?”
“What?” I’m almost shaking now. I want to somehow hide it, so I reach up to run the fingers of one hand through his thick hair.
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yes, I want to kiss you! I just told you I did, didn’t I?”
“Yes. I was just making sure you meant it.” He leans down forward and very gently brushes his lips against mine.
It feels so good my whole body jerks in reaction.
“Just to try it out,” I add, reminding myself more than him. “To get the whole experience.”
“Exactly. Nothing wrong with the whole experience,” he murmurs before he kisses me again.
This one is gentle too, but it’s lingering. His lips press against mine and then move slowly from side to side until I start to feel his tongue. I arch my neck up in response to the sensations radiating from the light touch, and I grab his head more firmly.
He makes a throaty sound and cups the back of my head so he can raise it from the pillow.