“And you can write anything. A misconception about yourself. How you wish people would treat you. Who you really are.”
“Yes! We gotta get with Mrs. Leonard on Monday. I love this idea. It’s so simple.” He clinks his can against my cup and then takes a drink. “Cheers to us.”
“To us,” I say. The word us catches in my throat.
“About last night,” he says, his voice fragile. “I’m sorry if my dad was rude. He’s not himself when . . .”
“It’s okay. You have nothing to apologize for.”
“He hasn’t been himself since . . . you remember that my mom died back in middle school, right?” he asks softly, and almost like he’s a little embarrassed to be doing this at a party. “I always expect people to just know and sometimes they don’t, so it’s easier when I ask even if it’s a little awkward.”
“Oh,” I say, suddenly remembering him being gone for a few weeks and a few different churches in town raising money for expenses and Mom signing up for meal trains. “I do remember now. . . . Wait,” I say. “It was a car wreck, wasn’t it?”
He stares down into his soda can, swishing it around, and his lips curl into a sad smile. “Eighteen-wheeler swerved. She died instantly. He lived.” He sighs and his jaw twitches. “And because he feels so bad about the living part, he’s slowly drinking himself to death.”
I swallow. The air between us is heavy, and I want more than anything to reach across the distance we share and hug him. I’ve never wanted to touch someone so badly that it made my fingertips hurt. I wonder if Tucker even had time to grieve his mom before he was faced with the reality of an alcoholic father. “I’m so—”
“Please don’t say you’re sorry,” he interjects.
My mouth snaps shut and I nod like a fool.
He looks up at the lights twinkling above us.
I want to tell him that I wish he didn’t have to take care of his dad and that someone should be there to take care of him and that maybe we could take care of each other someday, but as I’m taking another sip of beer, a second-story window opens and Kyle Meeks climbs out.
“What the hell?” I say.
Kyle sits on the ledge of the window and screams, “ALEX WU! ALEX!”
Alex emerges from the crowd of baseball players and onlookers who have gathered around the beer pong table. “Kyle?” He looks up. “Kyle! Christ! Kyle, get down! Get down right now! I’m coming up there.”
“No, no, no,” Kyle says, his voice slurring, and it’s evident that something has definitely happened to Kyle since I last saw him and I think it involves his blood alcohol level. “I’m coming to you,” Kyle says as he begins to stand, fighting to maintain his balance on the sloped roof.
Everyone outside gasps and a whole mess of people flood out of the house to see what the hell is going on.
“He’s gonna jump! This kid is gonna jump!” someone shouts.
“Cannonball! Cannonball! Cannonball!” another person begins to chant, even though no one else joins in.
“Alex Wu,” Kyle says. “I love you with my whole heart and my very big brain and every one of my two hundred and six bones.”
“Boner,” someone snorts.
Others let out a soft awwww.
“Um, should I go help him?” Tucker asks.
“Maybe?” I say.
Kyle slips a little before steadying himself again.
“Definitely,” I confirm.
Tucker hands me his soda and sprints into the house.
Kyle wobbles and then braces himself on the window frame. “I’m sorry, Alex. I’m sorry for being a party pooper.”
“You’re not a party pooper,” Alex calls to him.
“Not anymore!” Kyle says, pumping both fists into the air. “I’m a party maker!”
The whole crowd erupts in cheers and hoots.
Behind Kyle, the light shifts as it appears that Tucker enters the room.
“Behind you!” someone shouts.
Kyle spins around with an en-garde stance and nearly falls off the roof, which could either be awful or fine, depending on how much air he gets and if it’s enough for him to land safely in the pool and not splat on the concrete.
Tucker catches him by the elbow and says something quietly. He is way too good at taking care of drunk people.
After a moment, Kyle nods and begins to climb back inside.
I unclench the fists I didn’t realize I was making.
A few people boo, and at the sound of that, Kyle wiggles out of Tucker’s grasp and takes a running leap off the roof. “I