like sympathy. "I kill much cleaner than Winter does, you know."
If he meant that for comfort, he failed. She looked up at Nathan. "You said few beings can kill a hellhound. I'm guessing we've got at least two here who could manage it."
Reluctantly he nodded.
"All right, then." She straightened. "You are not to throw your life away - No, listen to me." She gripped his shoulders. "I always knew I had you for only a time. Maybe that time will turn out to be the rest of my life." The joke fell fiat. Her fingers tightened. "I don't want you dead, you hear me?"
"I hear." This smile was so sad it brought tears to her eyes. "But love doesn't give you the right to be making my decisions."
Love. This was the second time he'd spoken the word, and neither moment had been ripe for declarations. But... "I do love you. I think you know that, but just in case... I love you." She blinked quickly. Dammit, she would not cry. She didn't have time for it. "My choices seem to lie between death now and a chance that maybe none of us will die. So yes," she said, turning to the queen who waited with the stillness of ice. "Yes, you have my consent."
The queen glided up to her. "Hold her, Nathan."
"I don't need to be restrained."
"It's for your comfort, child. And his." In those silver eyes Kai saw a sadness eerily like she'd seen in Nathan's a moment ago. "I offered you a choice, but Winter's choices are always hard."
Nathan moved behind her and wrapped his arms around her. The queen placed her hands on Kai's face, one on each side, and Kai had a moment to think how normal they felt - dry and a little cooler than human, but they were just hands.
Then a scream of white sliced her open.
Kai came back to herself slowly, her head splitting, her mind wholly befuddled. Beneath her aching head, softness... ah, her mother's lap, and her mother was humming an old lullaby, one she hadn't heard in so long...
No. Not her mother. Kai's eyes opened.
She lay on the ground with her head pillowed on warm fur that rose and fell in a slow, sleeping rhythm. Dell. It was the Queen of Winter who was humming the wordless tune Sitsi Tallman Michalski used to croon to her daughter when Kai was ill or troubled by night fears.
A tune she'd stolen straight from Kai's mind. Kai started to jerk up - and fell back, groaning. Dell gave a protesting grunt.
"Shh. Give yourself a moment. The pain will fade soon." One of those deceptively normal hands reached out to stroke her temple, and the pain receded. "I would like to meet your grandfather. Perhaps Coyote will introduce us."
"I don't think..." But maybe Grandfather did know Coyote. How could she say? He didn't talk about his spirit guides. Maybe he had daily conversations with the trickster god. "I don't think he has a high opinion of Coyote," she said, amending her original thought. "Maybe you should ask Changing Woman or First Man."
Perfect eyebrows arched up. "You are indeed feeling better if you can argue with me."
Kai sat up, moving slowly this time. Her head pounded, but it was no more than an ordinary headache now, and already her memory of what had happened was fading. The examination had taken her to every significant event in her life connected with her Gift... at once. Every memory, even those she could have sworn she didn't possess. She'd been a baby when her Gift was suppressed. How could she have any memory of that? But she'd gone there, and to so many others, all of them laid open to an overwhelming and intimate presence.
Nathan sat cross-legged nearby, his face cleaned of expression, unreadable. Behind him approaching dawn banded the sky in shades of gray, with the widest band the same steel as his eyes.
Dawn. Dawn was near, lifting the blackness. She'd been... away... longer than she'd realized. She searched Nathan's eyes for the answer she needed.
He invented smiles again. This one arrived as fresh as the dawn behind him - a smile holding hints of tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
Her eyes stung. "She isn't going to kill me."
"No, and nor is the Huntsman. But you may not like the solution she's found."
The Huntsman. Kai looked around, but he was nowhere in sight.