The Promised Queen (Forgotten Empires #3)- Jeffe Kennedy Page 0,82
can be very difficult.”
“I don’t mind that, Your Highness,” she rushed to say, fingers fidgeting with her skirts. “Well, everyone was shocked that You were so severe, but I think that, once they order their thoughts, they’ll be here to appeal to You.”
“Then what is bothering you?” I asked gently. “Speak freely and be honest. If you would prefer not to continue to serve Me, then you may go with My blessing and goodwill. You’ve already done far more than most.”
“I don’t wish to leave Your service,” Ibolya said with perfect sincerity.
“Perhaps a holiday? I will be recruiting more ladies, regardless of what the others decide, so that none of you need shoulder the entire burden of tending Me.”
“It has been no burden, but an honor, Your Highness.” She smiled uncertainly. “These last days I’ve felt truly more useful than ever before. I mean,” she added hastily, “not that tending to You was ever trivial. It’s just that I—”
“I understand,” I interrupted gently. “Better to just say what’s on your mind.”
“I hesitate to pry, but—I believe Your Highness does not intend to travel to Yekpehr with Conrí on the rescue mission?”
The smell of smoldering vurgsten seemed to fill my nose, my throat choking on the foul smoke, the sick sensation of my lifeblood draining away. “I cannot,” I managed to say. I cleared my throat, feeling very like Con. He heard me, giving me a questioning look. I waved him off. “I cannot leave Calanthe again.”
“I did not intend to suggest that Your Highness should,” Ibolya hastened to say. “But—if Your other ladies return in time—I’d like to request to go on the rescue mission.”
My turn to be shocked. I gazed at her, quite unable to summon a response. “You wish to go with Conrí and the others?”
She lifted her pert chin and nodded. “Lady Agatha is determined to go, and there will be Lady Rhéiane to tend. And many others perhaps. I could be useful to them.”
“You are useful to Me,” I said softly, and she flushed.
“I appreciate that You find me so, and if You do not wish me to go, I won’t.”
I didn’t want her to go. Of all my ladies, Ibolya had earned my implicit trust. Even should the others return, I wouldn’t feel the same way about them. But her eyes shone with determination and a hint of that same ferocity that drove Con, Sondra, Kara, and even Ambrose and Merle. Ibolya wanted to do more than dress and bathe people, and who could blame her? I certainly wouldn’t be so small as to thwart her out of selfishness.
“You realize this will be very dangerous, this mission,” I cautioned, and she started nodding before I even finished. I held up a hand to stop her. “More so than rescuing Me. That effort succeeded out of sheer audacity and wild luck. Anure and his wizards will be prepared this time. The same strategy won’t work twice. I don’t know how this will be accomplished, but there will likely be casualties. It could be that none of you will return.” I swallowed against that fear, the hollowing sense of loss that Con might die—something I hadn’t allowed myself to think about too much. He was still watching me, a line between his dark brows. I smoothed my expression, missing my heavy makeup, if only for that. “You should also know: Your abilities won’t work there. I lost Mine.”
“I know, Your Highness,” she replied softly. “I felt that as soon as I left Calanthe’s waters, even though my magic has never been very strong. I can’t imagine how terrible it was for You, on top of everything else.”
I nodded, not trusting myself to reply. Her bravery shamed me.
“I want to learn to do without that magic,” Ibolya continued. “Lady Sondra is a force without it. If the mission is successful, then there will be a great deal to do in the larger world. They might need my help, and I’ll have to do that without magic. I can’t help make this a better world by staying here on Calanthe for the rest of my life.”
I decided not to mention that assisting me in ruling Calanthe did help make at least our small corner of the world better—and that I had plans to extend my reach, if possible. “Then of course you have My permission to go,” I said instead.
“Only if Your Highness has other ladies to attend You.”
I waved that off. “I’m not an infant who requires constant