nose. “I never cry, you know,” she said, her sniffling belying the claim. “Not over anything, not since Papa died. This is so embarrassing.”
“Not for me.” He frowned. “Though it’s rather sobering to make a woman cry in bed. Perhaps I should be embarrassed. Or . . . something.”
“You think this is funny,” she accused him.
“No.” He knew better than to admit that. He took the handkerchief from her and wiped away a tear she’d missed. “I’m merely humbled that the experience affected you so deeply. That’s not the usual reaction.”
She turned on her side to face him. “What is the usual reaction?”
Holy hell. He probably shouldn’t have alluded to other women.
When he said nothing, trying to figure out how to answer, she added, “You’ve had more than ‘a few’ women in your bed, haven’t you?”
He sighed. “Do you really want to know?”
Her lovely throat trembled. “I suppose not.”
Turning onto her back, she stared up at the ceiling with an unreadable gaze.
Could she be comparing herself to those other women? Because that was absurd. Next to them, she was a goddess. Even now, he couldn’t get enough of her body. Golden skin, golden-brown hair above and below, a pouty belly that made him want to lick and caress and fondle. Her body was perfect, no matter what she thought.
He’d never been one for big breasts; he preferred a big bottom, which she had. Not to mention her big wit and her big character and her big soul. Those were what he liked the most about her.
Certainly her attributes went beyond those of the carefully coiffed society ladies he knew. He liked that she was utterly natural, with her freckles and tanned skin and hair that didn’t conform to rules.
Her character that didn’t conform to rules. Because he never conformed to rules unless they made sense. It was always his choice. That’s what he loved about her. She refused to be bullied into following the rules.
Or letting her uncle make her his mistress.
Grey scowled. Damn that man. It drove him mad just to think of how her uncle Armie had tormented her. It drove him mad that she was withdrawing from him. Again. And all over some perception of how he’d lived his life.
Or perhaps because Grey hadn’t yet made the offer of marriage that he knew he must. It was the only recourse when a gentleman ruined a woman. Despite his behavior this night, he was a gentleman.
But first he’d better rid her of the perception he’d given her by alluding to his other intimate experiences, like a fool. “You needn’t worry about the women I’ve had in my bed.”
“Oh? Why not?”
“Because they stopped being part of my life years ago. Once I figured out that sowing wild oats only gets you weeds, that sort of indiscriminate behavior lost its appeal.”
She eyed him uncertainly. “Years ago?”
“More or less. To be honest, I’d rather pleasure myself than go into the stews and risk theft and disease. I’ve had a couple of dalliances with merry widows, and I briefly kept a mistress, but . . .” He met her inquisitive gaze, and his tone softened. “I found such experiences eminently less satisfying than our short acquaintance has proven to be.”
He was glad he’d admitted the truth when her eyes lit up. “Really?”
“I told you—I’ve never lied to you.”
She digested that a moment. “Perhaps. But until this evening you never revealed that you thought I’d taken part in both my uncles’ murders, either.”
God save him. His sins were coming home to roost. “That was a temporary madness born of Sheridan’s discovery this afternoon that your uncles were planning to sell this place. Directly after he told me, I marched over here without stopping to think. But honestly, sweetheart, once my saner impulses asserted themselves, I knew it was absurd.”
She ran her fingers over his chest. “So you didn’t really think I could have murdered them both.”
His impulse to convince her warred with his impulse to tease her. The latter won out. “Of course I did.” When she gaped at him, he added blithely, “Your dogs will obey your every command, so you probably spent months teaching them how to drag your uncle Armie from his horse and break his neck. Then when my stepfather came along, you taught them to shove him off a bridge. It’s clear as day to me now.”
“Grey!” she cried, though she was obviously suppressing a laugh.
“You did brag to me about how well you trained them.”