to give me makes me feel impossibly bound to a body that has only shown him its weakness. I close my eyes, turning my face away.
“I’m not your sister’s keeper and The Project has never been your sister’s prison. I accept that you think of me as your enemy because it’s easier than believing she made a choice that you were not made a part of.” He pauses. “Gloria.”
I open my eyes.
“You have my time,” he says again. “And you have my attention.”
“Casey said if I keep trying to expose you, I’ll fail.”
“She’s right. We have nothing to hide.”
“Then why break into SVO?”
He frowns. “Excuse me?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“But I don’t,” he says.
“Project members broke into SVO last night, trashed the entire office,” I tell him. “That’s why I’m here. Call off your fucking dogs.”
“You have proof of that?”
“Who else would it be?”
“Why are you so sure it was us?”
I open my mouth and then I close it again. Lev pushes his sleeves farther up his arms, facing the sink. He turns the water on and reaches for one of the dirtied plates, and it’s so strange to see him do something as ordinary as wash dishes and I realize I can’t have it both ways; that he’s either a man and should do this, or he’s more than a man who deigns to. He’s just a man. He is just. A man. He scrubs at a plate, rinses it, and then sets it gingerly in the drying rack, gazing out the window. Foster and the little girl are no longer in view.
“The Project may have enemies, but we are no one’s enemy,” Lev says. “And I knew, early on, to live boldly in faith, our work would have to be our first line of defense and it would have to speak for itself. Our mission is not, and has never been, to silence our detractors but to make our work louder than them. SVO is free to write what it wants and we won’t stand in its way. We will continue to do the work.” He faces me. “I would hope a journalist as respected and committed to the truth as Paul Tindale would make sure any story he wrote about us was verifiable fact. Regardless, we didn’t break into your office. An action like that runs counter to everything we stand for.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“That’s your choice,” he replies.
“What you did to Jeremy—”
“Be very specific if you’re going to talk about Jeremy.”
“You isolated him. Held him hostage, just like Bea. Kept him from his father—”
“We didn’t keep Jeremy from his father.”
“That’s not what Arthur seems to think.”
“Then that’s something about himself Arthur isn’t ready to confront. Over the years, we’ve become a sanctuary for those looking to start over. People view their redemption as a clean slate in all aspects of their lives. No one who comes to us is forced to leave anything behind they’re not willing to part with. Jeremy didn’t want a relationship with his father and we respected that. We didn’t intervene. If he had decided to reopen lines of communication with Arthur we would have embraced it. I wasn’t his keeper either.” Lev moves toward me. “But I know that doesn’t quite serve your narrative.”
I close my eyes briefly, as though I can reset myself every time I do and reclaim my hold on this situation, if I ever had it.
“I was there when Jeremy died.”
“So Casey said.”
“That’s how I know you’re responsible.”
A shadow crosses Lev’s face.
“How would you feel,” he asks quietly, “if you made a commitment to something you believed in, and you lived and embodied that belief, only to have it perverted by someone else’s refusal to accept or understand it?”
He gives me a moment to answer, but I don’t.
“Jeremy did amazing work,” Lev continues. He reaches absently for his pendant, rubbing his thumb over it. “He was a part of several outreach initiatives for those in need. He was one of our leading members in youth mentorship. He loved us and we loved him. To deny his autonomy and erase his life’s work, to reject his faith so you can rewrite him a victim of mine and The Project’s, for the sole purpose of validating your hatred of us and your anger at your sister is … deeply awful.”
I bite the inside of my cheek so hard, I feel the skin giving in to my teeth. The ugly taste of copper is quick to follow.