Prisoner (The Scarred Mage of Roseward #2) - Sylvia Mercedes Page 0,114

hours for her as well?

Nelle shuddered violently and couldn’t stop shaking even when she forced her limbs to relax, forced herself to lower the book to her lap and look at it again. Part of the binding was badly torn, and it looked burned all around the edges. “That’s no good,” she whispered.

Not liking to hold onto it any longer, she tucked the book under Soran’s limp arm as the safest place she could think to stow it. She checked the mage’s pulse again, just to make certain he still lived, and thought it seemed a little stronger than before. Hopefully, she nudged his shoulder and said, “Soran?” a few times, her mouth close to his ear.

He made no response.

Heaving a sigh that was almost a sob, Nelle sat back on the bench. Though she no longer felt cold, she still trembled uncontrollably. Wrapping the mage’s borrowed robe back around her bare shoulders, she huddled down in the rough fabric. It smelled of him—parchment, ink, dust, and always, always the sea, as wild and unknowable as the man himself. She breathed in the scent, comforted even as the darkness deepened.

Should she try to row? But where in the seven gods’ names would she row to? No stars lit the sky, no beacon light gleamed in the distance. All was dreadfully still, the only sounds her own tense breathing and the lap of water against the sides of her boat. She could be miles out into open Hinter Sea by now.

This was probably the end. Or the beginning of the end. It might be an end that dragged out for a long, excruciating while. Her tired mind accepted the possibility, the reality. But she saw no way out of it. She couldn’t even feel afraid, not yet. At least she wasn’t naked and tied down to that bed in the red room. If she must meet her fate, she’d rather it was here, in the darkness. Beside Soran Silveri.

If only he would wake. Even just for a moment. If only he would speak to her one last time. If only she had the chance to say to him all that she’d left unsaid . . .

Well. Why not?

Shifting from the bench, Nelle knelt in the sloshing bottom of the boat and reached out in the near blindness until she found the mage’s head. She rested her hand there, letting her fingers toy with his long, tangled hair. He was so still, and his skin was icy cold. Perhaps he was already dead. She didn’t have the courage to check.

“You’re an idiot, you know,” she said. Her voice sounded loud in her own ears, but simultaneously small in that huge expanse of darkness. “You’re an idiot to come after me like that. And to let the Thorn Maiden out! Bullspit, sir. I mean, just, bull-scatting-spit.”

This wasn’t right. Her heart was heavy, burdened with words that must be spoken. But even now she was afraid. Once she admitted the truth out loud, there could be no going back, no denial.

If this was her end though, what did it matter?

“I never thought . . .” Nelle bit her lip, struggling against the sudden prickle of tears burning in her eyes, choking her throat. She stopped playing with Soran’s hair and simply rested her hand on his blood-crusted cheek.

“I never thought I would find you,” she said at last, softly. “When I set out from Wimborne, I mean. Finding you was the last thing on my mind. I wasn’t convinced there was a ‘you’ to find, if I’m altogether truthful.”

She stroked his cheek gently, feeling the line of his jaw, tracing the shape of his ear. Too bad she couldn’t see him. Just one more time. She tried to make herself feel at least a little guilt for the thought, tried to make herself think of Papa or Mother. Even of Sam. But no. She loved them, all of them, dearly.

But the only face she wanted to see was scarred and hideous and so . . . so . . .

“You’d think I’m stupid,” she said, sniffing hard to keep back a sob. “Very stupid, I’m sure! It ain’t been long, after all. At least it ain’t felt that long. And you’re such a beast! Such an arrogant ass with your know-better airs and your ‘Miss Becks,’ and really I ought to hate you, but the truth is . . . the truth is, sir . . . Well, in fact, the truth is .