The Priestess and the Thief Kindred Tales 30 - Evangeline Anderson Page 0,83

rare but not completely unheard of for pregnancy to occur without bonding.

Pregnancy had seemed an acceptable risk before, when she was so filled with desire and pleasure, but now she wondered why she had thought so in the first place. What would she do if her belly started to swell once she got back to the Mother Ship? Where could she go to have the baby? She wouldn’t be welcome back home—that was for certain. Maybe the Ascending Priestess Superior would send her someplace to be punished for her sins…

The thought caused tears to leak from her eyes, though she tried not to cry out loud. But she couldn’t help letting out a muffled sob, which drew Roke’s attention.

“What is it?” He looked down at her anxiously. “I hurt you, didn’t I? Damn it—I was too rough. Gods, I’m so sorry, little priestess!”

“N-no,” Elli whispered, shaking her head. “You didn’t…didn’t hurt me.”

“Then why in the Seven Hells are you crying?” he demanded. “Of course I hurt you. I pounded into you even though I knew you were a virgin. May the Goddess damn me!”

“Don’t say that.” Elli swiped at her tears. “I’m fine—see?”

“No, you’re not. You’re not fine at all,” he growled. “And I’m the cause of it.” He shook his head again. “May the Goddess damn me to the worst of the Seven Hells.”

Elli said nothing but inside, she felt as though she was already damned.

Forty-Two

Roke slept on the floor that night—their last night together. Elli didn’t ask him to, he simply did it. It was as though now that he’d had her, he wanted to put as much distance between the two of them as possible. At least, that was how it seemed to Elli.

She felt horrible—sinful and used and dirty. Curling up on the far side of the bed—which felt huge and empty without the big warrior beside her—she put a pillow over her head and sobbed as quietly as she could.

It was the worst night she could remember since the one when her stepmother had caught her touching her secret spot and threatened to tell her father unless Elli agreed to become a priestess and move away to the Mother Ship. Only this time, she really had committed what felt like an unforgivable sin and there was no place she could go to get away from it.

In the morning, Elli felt horrible. And when she looked in the mirror hanging in the fresher, she looked pretty bad too. Never had she wanted a hot shower more in her life, but of course, there was no bathing facility except for the communal baths in the Bathing Grotto. The best she could do was splash her face with some of the lukewarm, milky blue water which flowed sluggishly from the tap and press a damp facecloth to her eyes to try and ease some of the swelling from crying all night.

When she came out of the fresher, she was fully dressed in the red dress she had worn during their introduction at Court. It covered more than any of the Tenebrian dresses the seamstress had made for her and it looked grand enough for the parade—she hoped. Her hair was neatly braided and pulled back from her face, which was pale, but serene. Elli knew, because she had practiced the look in the mirror until she felt ready for Roke to see her.

“He doesn’t want you and that’s all right,” she whispered fiercely at her reflection as she practiced. “It’s all right because you’re not here to fall in love. You’re here to earn a piece of the Healing Lattice to save the old Priestess Superior’s life. So keep your chin up and do your duty, Elli! All you have to do is get through the parade today and then Demon will be safely put out to stud and you can take the Lattice back to the Mother Ship. Just concentrate on that.”

Her self-pep talk had helped because when Roke took her by the shoulders and said, “Ellilah, we have to talk,” she was able to step coolly back from him and reply,

“I’m sorry, Roke, but there’s nothing to talk about.”

He looked ready to argue but then there was a knock at the door, which turned out to be one of the Crown Prince’s servants coming to fetch her for the Grand Parade.

“I’ll come with you in a moment,” Elli told him. She turned back to Roke, who was scowling unhappily. “I’ll meet you here after the parade,”