The Priestess and the Thief Kindred Tales 30 - Evangeline Anderson Page 0,42
ended so abruptly and now it seemed as though she couldn’t bring herself to meet his eyes.
“Fine.” Ellilah looked down at her hands. She was sitting on one of the firmer cushions, picking at the selection of fruit Roke had ordered from one of the palace servants. But though she had professed to be hungry when he ordered it, she had scarcely eaten two bites.
Roke shook his head. He was sitting across from her—on the floor, not a cushion—so they could be more eye-to-eye.
“No, you’re not fine—not even halfway fine,” he said, frowning at her. “We’re partners here, Ellilah—you need to be honest with me and tell me what’s bothering you.”
She looked up, her green eyes flashing.
“Nothing’s wrong with me!”
“Bullshit!” Roke growled. “You’ve barely said two words since Supper! And when you do talk, you can’t even look me in the face. You’re moping around like a guilty convict about to face execution so tell me—what’s wrong?” He dropped his voice slightly. “Is it trying to tame the Prince’s zorel tomorrow? Is that what has you all tied up in knots, sweetheart?”
“Of course not!” Elli sounded exasperated. “Why would I be worried about a zorel? It’s…I just…” She shook her head, her jaw clenched as though she was trying to think how to say something. “Did you drug me again?” she burst out at last.
“What?” Roke stared at her blankly. This was the last thing he would have expected. “Drug you?” he asked, frowning. “Why would I drug you? And what would make you think I had?”
“The way…the way I reacted to you.” Ellilah sounded almost desperate. “When you kissed me and…and touched me. I was…I was shameless.” Her voice dropped to a whisper of self-recrimination. “Utterly shameless.”
Roke shook his head.
“So because you reacted when we were kissing and I was touching you, you automatically think I drugged you?”
“Well, I was acting and feeling the same way tonight that I was at the humans’ Christmas party!” she shot back. “What other conclusion am I supposed to draw?”
“Maybe the conclusion that you’re a normal, healthy female with normal sexual appetites,” Roke suggested.
“No, I’m not—I’m a priestess!” she cried passionately. “I’m not supposed to be susceptible to the sins of the flesh!”
“We weren’t sinning,” Roke said, frowning. “Not exactly, anyway. We were doing what we had to in order to keep from being kicked out of that fucking Tenebrian Last Meal ritual.”
“Yes, I know but I enjoyed it!” Ellilah cried. “I wanted more! Even now, my body is…is throbbing all over where you touched me! And even places where you didn’t touch me. It’s shameful and wrong!”
“It’s normal and natural,” Roke countered. “Of course it feels good when I touch you—we’re fucking attracted to each other. In fact, Gods…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I can’t remember the last time I wanted a female so badly,” he admitted recklessly.
“You…you want me?” Her green eyes went wide.
“The same way you want me,” Roke growled. “Don’t deny it, little priestess. I can smell your desire.” It was a warm, devastatingly feminine scent that filled his senses and made his shaft ache in the confines of his trousers.
“But I shouldn’t want you!” Ellilah put her head in her hands. “Oh, if only I had been allowed to do the Ceremony of Shriving and drink from the cup of Mortem Amore before I left the Mother Ship! This wouldn’t be happening now if I had!”
“You said something about that before,” Roke said, frowning. “What is this ‘Shriving Ceremony’ and how is drinking from some special cup supposed to help you?”
“It helps by killing all your wrong and lustful desires.” Ellilah looked up at him earnestly. “It keeps you from having sinful urges.”
“So it kills your libido? Your sexual passion?” Roke shook his head. “That’s fucking horrible, sweetheart! Why would you want such a thing?”
“So that I can stop being bad all the time.” Ellilah’s big green eyes filled suddenly with tears. “So that I can resist all the wrong urges I have and stop being such a horrible person!”
Roke was appalled at her sudden admission. Did she really think such things about herself? If so, whoever had raised her had done her a grave disservice.
“Come here, sweetheart.” He reached for her and though she resisted at first, he finally coaxed her into his lap so he could wrap his arms around her as she cried.
“I’m so bad,” she sobbed against his chest, her narrow shoulders shaking. “Why can’t I stop being so bad?”