She pushes off the door and saunters deeper into the room until we are face to face.
“I always knew you would be your own downfall. You were so pretty and perfect with your shiny hair and long lashes. So conceited and entitled with your crazy lineage, ex-teacher mom, and Hothole father. Sometimes, at night, I had to cry myself to sleep, convincing myself that you would fall, because it didn’t look like you ever would. And let’s admit it.” She chuckles. “The cheer captain title always belonged to me. I’m the better dancer. I’m a better leader, better mediator, the better human being.”
I stand straighter. She is talking about me in the past tense, and I don’t like that. I elevate my nose, reminding her who’s the boss. Though, truth be told, I haven’t felt in control for a really long time.
“You can’t strip my title, Esme. That’s not how things work, no matter how much you want them to.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” She puts two fingers to her mouth and whistles. The door opens and in trickles the cheer team in all their glory, complete with their uniforms. And at the end of the perfect line is Sylvia Scully, wearing a uniform she must’ve stolen. From me.
I see red.
I take a step back, twisting my mouth. Esme takes a step toward me, cleaning invisible lint from my crop top.
“You’ve been spacey, out of focus, and MIA when we needed you. Not to mention, poor Via told us about what you did to her four years ago with the letter,” she pouts.
Shooting an accusing glance at Via, I see that she not only meets my gaze, but she smiles, too. She got a new pixie haircut, stylish and expensive, and new studded earrings to go with it. She is already reinventing herself, and no one is stopping her from ruining my life. Melody is compensating for our lack of connection by showering Via and Bailey with everything I won’t accept from her anymore, and for whatever reason, Penn is firmly in her camp. The only person I still matter to is Dad, but even I know he is isolating himself in his quest to be there for me.
“You won’t get away with this.” I bare my teeth to Esme, getting in her face.
“What’ll you do?” She cocks her head at me, smiling.
For one thing, tell Blythe, your BFF, that you’ve been sleeping with Vaughn. Then, I’ll tell Vaughn to drop you, and make no mistake, the boy doesn’t have a modicum of emotion in his body. He will do so without even mourning the lost blowjobs.
But I can’t say this. At least publicly. The acts of the Hulk are to be done in secret.
“I’m guessing it’s settled, then?” I ask, twisting my head toward the rest of the team. They all look down, backs against the lockers in a row. Everyone other than Via. I laugh hysterically, shaking my head and waving at them dismissively.
“You guys are pathetic. You hate Esme.”
No response.
“Good luck living off Diet Coke and air for the next semester.”
I’m losing it, and I’m losing my place in the world, fast. The worst part is, I can’t even fight for what’s mine. Not when Via holds my journal. Dangling my life, future, and reputation above my head.
“Did you even mean it when you voted for me? Do you mean anything you do anymore? How fake can you be?”
Blythe takes a sharp breath, shaking her head. A tear escapes her eye, and I know Esme’s pushed her, but I still hate her for not growing a spine. Looking around at their faces—grave, guilty, uncomfortable—I don’t even know what to think anymore.
Everything I have is crumbling.
Everything I’ve worked for is perishing.
Via promised she’d end me, and so far, she’s kept her word.
I stalk outside, back to the school, before the tears fall. Maybe Penn is right. Maybe I cry all the time and make scenes. But here’s a scene I’d never forget:
The day Via and Esme took my cheer captain badge, which I earned fair and square, is the day I found out I wasn’t the only girl born with a green Hulk inside her. They have one, too. And it just burst through their bones and skin and chased me away.
My stomach lurches.
At least I managed to put mine on a leash.
“And lookie who we have here.”
Gus slams my open blue locker with a bang when I get my books out and gives me a playful shove.