Pretty Perfect Toy - Angel Payne Page 0,17

huffs out a skeptical laugh. “Désonnum, Cassian…but many believe unicorns exist too, and—”

“She was Lily’s best friend.”

As I hope, that stills her. As I dread, that means revisiting more of the past—a reckoning I’ve ignored for too long. Every pound of my heart reconfirms that much. “I met her as I was getting to know Lily.” Though imagine that, the beginning does feel like the best place to start. “Nash wanted me on the Eurail project the second I graduated. Flew me to Utrecht, in the Netherlands, the day after I walked for my diploma. For the next month, we were at Eurail HQ during the days and buried in meeting debriefs every night, so Nash insisted I stay at the castle he was leasing instead of a hotel.”

She lifts a knowing smile. “Hmm. Not a tough assignment.”

“Unless you like toilets that actually work.”

Her giggle is as genuine as my smirk. “You billionaires are so picky.”

“Didn’t have two euros to rub together back then.” I illustrate the point by spreading my hands. “I was just a kid at my version of the Magic Kingdom. Modernizing communications and operations for one of the world’s largest transportation entities…working with high-level engineering executives in every country in Europe…” I shake my head, kicking up a one-sided smile. “For the first time in my life, my wings didn’t feel clipped.”

She fingers back the hair from my forehead. “That was good?”

“That was fucking amazing.”

She’s quiet for a moment. “And it got even more amazing when you met Lily.”

“Lily wasn’t amazing.” I’m unsure what shocks me harder: the speed or the vehemence of my rebuttal. Neither escapes Mishella either, blue crystals of curiosity in her eyes. “She was…enlightening. Intriguing. Maybe even confusing.” Despite how my brows pull in, I recognize the words as therapeutic—to me and Ella. “No. That part came later.”

“But at some point, you fell in love with her.”

I grimace despite her leniency with the conviction. So easily—and justifiably—she could’ve turned it into accusation. Used my own honesty against me.

And you…loved her?

Yes, Ella…I loved her.

I’d surrendered the confession in the middle of Bryant Park, minutes after she’d learned about Lily the wrong way. Even if that night hadn’t ended with my ass in an ambulance and Ella’s sobs in my ears, the lesson from it was clear. Delaying the truth, even with the excuse of making it “easier” for someone, is just as idiotic as lying. In the end, it’ll eventually bite you in the ass.

“Yes,” I finally state. “I fell in love with her—though at the beginning, it wasn’t that at all.” My forehead falls atop her knuckles. “It didn’t come close to what happened with you.”

I don’t break the pose. Pray that some magical osmosis takes over and bleeds the truth from my brain straight into her. Right. And unicorns are real. If I were her, only one thought would be permeating my mind at this moment. This asshole sounds like a greeting card—and believes every stupid word of it.

And there’s the shittiest rub.

I do believe every word. To the depths of my fucking soul.

“So…what was it?” Her insecurity rasps every syllable, confirming my qualms and stabbing my gut. At this point, my greeting card might as well be printed on toilet paper.

So prove that it’s not.

Wade into the quicksand.

Give her your truth.

“At first, more than anything, it was just…curiosity.”

The word is accurate but sounds lame. Relief floods in when she rocks her head again, looking like I’ve just conveyed aliens are real and living in relics of a city beneath the Atlantic. “About what?”

I should’ve expected the question—but my mouth opens on nothing but air for a long second. “I was a kid from a shoebox apartment in Jersey. Farthest I’d ever been in my life to that point was the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. So getting to see a real European castle, much less find myself living in one…” I stop to pull in a breath—and make a new stab for all the right words. “Very quickly, it started to feel like a dream. A damn good one.”

“And Lily became part of that.”

“To an extent…probably…yes. I mean, she sure as hell looked the part…” My voice trails as the remembrance takes over. In those early days, Lily was every inch the princess, with her porcelain skin, dark hair, and tentative smile—when she decided the situation warranted a smile. “But…”

“But what?”

Belatedly, I realize how thick my silence has gotten. Silence—the gift Lily keeps giving. Once upon a time, I called