it over, looking right into my eyes. I point to the half-empty glass. ‘Still half-full,’ I say.
‘I knew you’d be a half-full person.’
I take a knowing sip and brace myself for turning up Gretel’s megawatt charm. I lean over to Alpha Male, knowing he’s the one to impress. The most unlikeable is always the most important to impress. ‘So, tell me everything I need to know about Josh,’ I say. ‘You guys met on your course, right?’
Neil nods and leans over, all the better to show off his biceps with. ‘Yes, we met in Freshers’ Week and were in the same halls.’
‘So, who here went to Leeds then?’
He points them out. ‘Me and Lucy and Luke.’ The table listens in now their names have been mentioned.
‘And the rest of you know each other …?’ Gretel asks, so, so interested.
‘I’m Lucy’s husband,’ says a tall man sitting next to her called George.
‘And I’m Julia, Neil’s wife,’ the remaining woman says, who is very done up for a curry. She’s wearing false eyelashes and her hair is perfectly curled. She squeezes Neil’s arm and he sort of shrugs her off while also smiling.
‘So, what was Joshua like at uni?’ I take a poppadom from the pile in the middle and ping it in two to fit onto my side plate.
‘Just like I am now,’ Joshua replies, taking half of my poppadom. ‘Intimidatingly cool.’
‘Umm, yeah mate,’ Neil nods his head. ‘Very cool … Apart from trying to start a Coding Society that no one turned up to, and let’s not forget the cereal box business cards.’
The table collapses into laughter while Joshua blushes slightly.
‘What business cards?’ I ask.
Joshua shoots a ‘thanks mate’ glare at Neil before he explains. ‘So, on my first night of Freshers’ Week, I may have cut up a Kellogg’s Cornflakes box into small squares, written my name and email address onto them with biro, and handed them out to all the people I met.’
Everyone chortles, sprays of poppadom crumbs falling from their mouths onto the tablecloth, while I play the part of surprised-but-delighted-at-the-cuteness-of-it girl. ‘I don’t know where to even begin with that one,’ I say. ‘I mean, why business cards? Why out of Kellogg’s? Why your email address? Why did you not just make friends the regular way?’
Luke points to the air. ‘These are all very valid questions Joshua.’
Joshua gets redder and nuzzles into my shoulder for support. I smell the sweet tang of too much beer on him. ‘In my head, having business cards would make me seem really suave,’ he says. ‘But, no. Not made out of cornflakes boxes anyway. I promise you I’m really, really cool now,’ he protests.
‘I mean, cool people always tell you how cool they are,’ Lucy quips while we laugh at Joshua again.
‘Well I think that’s adorable,’ I declare, patting him on the head while they all laugh harder.
‘Great. Adorable. Men just love being called adorable.’ Joshua puts his head face-first onto the table.
‘But it is adorable!’ I pull him up and give him a quick peck on the cheek. He squeezes my knee again, his reddened face curled up into such a smile. Gretel is doing well. I’m fitting in perfectly. Of course I am.
‘You’re adorable,’ he whispers, pulling me in for another quick kiss.
And I wonder if he’d still think that if he’d been sitting at the pub earlier and hearing me share what I shared.
The poppadoms are demolished. Loaded with chutneys, sprinkled with sliced onions, chomped down into, crumbs flailing onto the white tablecloth.
‘Oh my God, do you remember that time in the third year, Josh? When you were so determined to make us go to Alton Towers before we graduated. But it came the night after the Otley Run?’
‘Vomit. So much vomit.’
‘It was Air that did it.’
‘Hahahahahahaha,’ says Gretel.
The mains arrive. Naans are torn apart and added to our tiny silver plates. We ask one another if they would like to try a bit of ours.
‘So, what are your plans this summer?’
‘Oh, George and I are going to stay in this villa in Crete with a bunch of his friends.’
‘Ooo, nice.’
‘Yes. I just can’t wait to have the time off work. How about you two?’
‘We’re diving in Indonesia. Trying to get our PADIs, aren’t we love?’
‘How about you, Josh?’
‘Working, I’m afraid. Used up all my annual leave climbing the mountain.’
‘I can’t believe you climbed a mountain, you’ve never mentioned that before.’
‘Shut up.’
‘Hahahahahahaha,’ says Gretel.
‘Don’t let him fool you, Gretel. He might act like an Iron Man but