a happier time. He leaned back on his elbows and closed his eyes.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” I reached for him, but my hand only touched his side, and it seemed to startle him. He sat up.
“When my father was thrown out, it nearly killed Tyler and me. We were alone. We couldn’t go with him. The elders wouldn’t let us, even if we’d wanted to. We didn’t belong out there, so we stayed. Dad felt betrayed. Who could blame him?” That last part was nearly a whisper. “And then my idiot brother made things infinitely worse. He’s got the same pigheaded, stubborn streak as my dad.”
“But you were just kids then.” I saw the whole thing in my head while he spoke. I was sure it was a memory. Tears pooled, then fell from my swelling eyes. I reached for him. In that moment, I realized that Lucifer had what he’d wanted from the start: two Fallen and by his side. Only problem was they never wanted any of it. “I’m so sorry, Gavin.” And then something occurred to me. Perhaps Lucifer was the one who had orchestrated the entire thing.
It became clear why Lucifer despised me so. Gavin chose to Fall because of me and not him. And it also became clear that I could never measure up to Gavin’s love or Lucifer’s hatred.
Gavin sat forward and leaned close enough that I felt his breath on my neck. He let his lips brush my skin once, then again slightly harder. My breaths came in uneven bursts, forcing themselves from my thumping chest. Placing a hand on my neck, and letting his palm come to rest on my collar bone, Gavin took my trembling lips in his in a kiss that began softly. Seconds passed, and the kiss became all-consuming, as if we had been kissing with our entire bodies, minds, and souls. I let the fire between us melt away all that I had wanted to ask him.
Gavin turned his attention to my neck for what seemed like a sweet eternity before moving to just behind my ear. “You feel so good.” He pulled me in closer, slipping his hand under my sweater right below my ribs, causing a sigh to escape my lips and an arch in my back. Gavin’s response was not as subtle.
I felt like one of his string instruments beneath him, his hands caressing the skin just under my bra. He watched me as he did. Watching him watch me was as intoxicating as it was beautiful. His hair glistened against the twinkling lights above. Even though he was Fallen, he emitted light. And there was something about him that left me speechless when I looked at him.
He steadied my head and returned his mouth to mine. I hadn’t realized how much I hungered for him, to feel his lips on mine.
***
I lost my train of thought. I became flustered, realizing I had been sharing intimate details of my time with Gavin with complete strangers who wanted to see him imprisoned. They would stop at nothing to make sure that he spent the rest of this life behind bars. And then, they would come for me, after they forced me to testify, to make false statements, they would lock me away forever so no one would know what they did.
But Seargent Mullane would never do that. He was Dad’s best friend. He was like my uncle. He would never do that to me. He would never allow Gavin to be railroaded. I don’t think. I continued my statement despite my reservations.
***
Always the gentlemen, he did not allow me to meet his kiss by raising my head off the floor. I listened to his intentions in his mind while he slid himself on top of me with a sudden sense of urgency and longing. It felt as if he was pulling me into his aura, to become one with him.
Gavin removed my sweater. “God, you’re beautiful.” Gavin’s eyes held a wildness in them that frightened me.
I touched his face, and immediately, I felt as if something was pulling me away from him, as if I was falling. He seemed to be getting farther out of my reach.
He placed my sweater on the floor next to me. “Are you okay, Grace?”
I wasn’t okay. My head was hurting; a little at first, then almost unbearably in just a few seconds. But Gavin had moved on, to my ear, planting short