“I’m worried,” he said. “You’re too exposed, and if you’ve been talking to the cops, they’ll know it.”
I swallowed, the urgency in his voice making me anxious. Ryker had said something similar. What if they’d seen me go to the police station today? Would they kill me like they had Niki? But staying with Parker was out of the question.
“I’m not staying here,” I said. “That’s crazy. I’m leaving.”
But Parker had a hold of my arms, forcing me to stay still. “You could’ve died, Sage,” he said. “They would’ve raped you to within an inch of your life and left you for dead.”
“Then go to the cops and end this!” I said, exasperated. “Tell them what’s going on, how they’re threatening you.”
“I can’t.” His tone was implacable.
“Then I guess we’re at an impasse,” I said, “because if the cops want me to help them, then that’s what I’ll do, and you can’t stop me. They killed Niki. Tania is a prisoner, and Hanna is being forced to be a prostitute. I don’t want to be the kind of person who’d just ignore something like that because it’s safer and more convenient for me to do so.”
Parker didn’t reply, so I turned and walked out the door, leaving him staring after me.
Chapter Twelve
Friday was business as usual between Parker and me, or at least that’s what people saw. On the inside, I died a little every time I looked at him.
You would never have known anything had passed between us the night before. He greeted me at my desk the same way he did every day, glancing through his messages before heading into his office. He called me in for various things he needed, e-mailed me documents, and inquired for updates on projects. It was as normal as it ever was.
And it was incredibly hard to take.
So when Megan popped by my desk to grab some lunch, I seized the opportunity to spill my guts to someone. I trusted Megan. She wasn’t a gossip and could keep a secret, so over matching grilled chicken salads with lime-cilantro dressing (on the side—they always put too much on), I told her what had happened between Parker and me and how he’d turned me down flat.
“Aww, honey, I’m so sorry,” she said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a careful squeeze—I was still sore from the “mugging.”
I shrugged, pushing some wilted lettuce with my plastic fork. “It is what it is. I just thought, you know, maybe…” But I didn’t finish the thought.
“I guess I didn’t realize you…liked Parker that way,” Megan said.
“I’ve always thought he was hot,” I replied. “Who doesn’t? But it was kind of in a visceral way, you know? The way you think some movie star is hot or something. It’s not as though he was a possibility.”
Megan looked skeptical, so I elaborated. “I know it seems strange, but I like him. I like that he acts like a complete hard-ass, but can be considerate and kind, too. I like how intense he is about, well, everything. I like that he can handle billions of dollars of other people’s money without blinking an eye. I like that he relies on me and needs me. And I like how well we…fit.” I shrugged helplessly. It was the best way I knew to explain it. “Only now that I’ve thought about it in a real way, it’s all I can think about. I feel heartbroken and we’ve never even gone on a single date.”
She nodded sympathetically.
“So how do I go back?” I asked. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore. Sad and pathetic and rejected. How do I go back to how it was before?”
“I have no idea,” she said. “Men can compartmentalize that stuff so well. Women just can’t, at least I’ve never been able to and none of my friends have ever been able to.”
“But I don’t want to have to find another job,” I said.
“You could find another administrative assistant position like that,” Megan said, snapping her fingers. “Probably pay better, too.”
“Yeah, but then I’d never see him again.” Saying those words was harder than I thought it’d be.
“Maybe that would be for the best,” she said. “If you feel this way and he doesn’t, then what’s the point of sticking around? It just makes things harder for you.”
I couldn’t argue with her logic, although quitting my job was something I didn’t want to consider. Yet what choice did I have?