traffic. I’m almost tempted to just jump out and start running, but I finally get clear of the stadium.
Just when I think things will start to move, I see flashing lights and I growl, slamming my hand on the steering wheel. Honestly, a re-route? What the fuck is going on?
It’s like something, everything is preventing me from getting to Madison. But fate can fuck off. I’m making my own, snapping my fingers and making her my bitch. Well, or pleading with her to please let me get to Maddie, to somehow make this all right again.
I need her. I love her.
My Madison.
Chapter 28
Madison
Daily Horoscope, November 3rd
Libra – Echoes of the past threaten your future.
I rinse the dog hair and stench from my hands in the big stainless-steel sink, watching the bubbles swirl down the drain, wishing they’d take my broken heart with them. I think an empty void, a wasteland where my heart used to be would be preferable to this deep aching.
Yeah, Marie. Thanks for the heads-up about the suffering. Spot on, bitch. I wish I’d listened, believed her. But even if I had, I still would’ve fallen for Scott. I still believe that. I couldn’t have resisted his charms.
“Maddie, baby . . . really, just go home and get some rest. I can handle the dogs today,” Aunt May prods me, handing me a handful of paper towels and flicking her head at me, telling me without words to shoo.
She’d been relentlessly loving all day, listening as I’d told her everything. She had even promised to take Stella a casserole first thing tomorrow morning, which I know will be appreciated.
“Are you sure? I know you had help all weekend,” I start but can’t finish the sentence. I breathe, steeling myself. “You had help while I was with Scott this weekend, but I’m scheduled to help today. I’m fine. Or fine enough.” The implied ‘see, I even said his name without crying’ is silent but understood.
Aunt May scoffs. “Girl, you’re about useless today . . . for good reason. Go home, take a nap, and get ready for your shift tonight. I have volunteers coming in later today, but Stella needs you at one hundred percent.”
I nod, giving in because I know she’s right. I toss the paper towels in the trash and grab my purse from the office as she watches me with worried eyes. Right before I leave, she calls out. “Hey, Maddie, you might be a sparrow again right now, but I’ve seen you fly. You’ll be an eagle again.”
Aunt May’s Dolly-isms. Even now, they give me a smidge of comfort, a hint of a smile. It’s a start, but before the spark of flame catches, it dies out, leaving me cold once again. “Thanks, Auntie. I’ll be by tomorrow if I can.”
I don’t even pet Maple and Syrup as I walk out, a zombie unaware of the life surrounding her.
By that night, I’ve forced myself to rally. Not able to smile and be my usual self, but at least finding distraction in the busy work of running the bar.
My new helper, Dana, isn’t half bad, and she keeps the beer flowing smooth and suds-free with a smile. She looks great too, her dark hair and smoky eyes giving her a sultry exotic look. Thank God she’s eye candy for our tip jar tonight, because I’m definitely not holding up my end of the bargain there.
Tiff had done our last-minute tweaks for me, finally throwing a knotted bandana around my rat’s nest of hair and forcing three thick layers of mascara on my lashes because I flat-out refused to put on makeup.
Funny to think that only a few weeks ago, I wouldn’t have been seen without a full face. But Scott made me feel comfortable in my own skin and appreciated the flaws I hated, like my freckles and the little birthmark on my jawline. When he kissed and licked them, appreciated the beauty in them, I could finally see it too. And now, without him, I just don’t give a fuck. Am I masked? Am I exposed? Not my concern. I’m just here to help Stella and serve drinks. Everything else is unimportant, trivial shit, easily dismissed.
Hustling along, setting out drink after drink, I get lost in the repetition. I still have moments where Scott takes over my mind . . . when a customer ordered a Snow Queen martini, I’d thought they were fucking with me at first and almost came over the bar.