do my best to hold still until she gets done, hissing when she’s finally finished with a cut on my cheek. “Fuck. Think you got it all?”
She sighs, looking a little worried. “Are you angry with me?” she asks.
I let out a sigh. I made her doubt her place here, with me. And I know that’s a shitty thing to do when her heart is so damn fragile and just starting to trust me. “No, Maddie. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at Chase for saying those awful things. But mostly, I’m mad at myself for letting him get to me. He fucking deserved it, but he’s probably going to use that against me. Against us.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says softly as she looks down at her hands.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I say, putting my hands on her thighs. “I’m the one who lost control. I swear it won’t happen again. I’m not . . .” I can’t say her ex’s name, but it lingers in the air like an evil spirit.
Madison grabs my hands. “I know, Scott. God, I know you’re nothing like Rich. You were defending me, and there’s this whole weird mix of sibling rivalry. But your fighting your brother didn’t remind me of . . . that, not at all.” I feel a whoosh of air leave my lungs in relief.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have gone? Then he wouldn’t have that ammunition against you. Things could’ve just been the same as always, even though that’s still pretty fucked up with you two.” Madison shakes her head.
“Listen to me. I wanted you there, by my side. And I’m damn glad you were. I’m sorry it turned ugly and you got stuck in the middle of it. But it’s not about you, I swear. Chase and I have always fought, sometimes with words and sometimes with fists. The presentation setup was just too much pressure and we both boiled over. I hate that you were collateral damage. I’m sorry for losing it and not protecting you.” I wince, expecting her to give me a tongue lashing about not needing me to protect her, but she’s distracted and it slips past her.
“You two . . . it seems like everything you do is just another way to throw punches—literal or figurative.”
Her words make me think. Has there ever been any genuine love between us? Chase or Liv? It’s always been competition. It hasn’t been violent between me and Liv . . . but Chase and I have fought for two decades.
“Dad has put us against each other since we were old enough to walk. We couldn’t even share a swing set. Dad intentionally had it installed with one seat. I couldn’t even share that with him.”
Madison shakes her head. “Your father sounds like a monster. What sort of man could do that to his children?”
I nod and tell Madison about the things I haven’t told her, the parts I haven’t told anyone before. “Dad just always felt superior to others, usually people with less money, but sometimes people he just deemed weaker for some reason or another. I think he’s got this constant need to see which of us is the ‘better son’ and at the same time, ensure that neither of us surpasses him. If he’s not winning, if people aren’t looking up to him with respect and fear and admiration, then what’s the point?”
“It’s sad. He could do so much good,” Madison murmurs. “He’s so arrogant, though. It twists him, makes him just . . . destructive. But you can change it.”
I arch an eyebrow. “You think so?”
Madison nods. “It doesn’t have to be this way. Don’t you see? It’s his chess board, his rules. And while he’s busy competing with the whole world for dominance, he’s shrunk your focus to only competing with Chase, keeping you small. Or smaller than him, at least. Stop competing with Chase, with your dad, and just be you. Make your own board, your own rules, and play your own damn game.”
Her words make me think, but I admit, “It might be too late for that. Even if Chase hadn’t said what he said about you, this proposal setup is do-or-die for us all.”
Madison strokes my hair, almost petting me, and it calms me, clears my head to hear her words in my heart, not just my head. “He may have meant what he said. But I think it’s more likely that he was poking around to find