me just a tiny bit. Even that small give seems important from him, an unlikely kindness. He’s not the type to give false praise, I don’t think. So while he’s not happy about Nathan and me, I do believe he brought me to be nice, not cruel.
“Thought you’d want to see your girl. Fuck knows, she wanted to see you. And since she was willing to tell her sister to fuck off and run down here by herself, I figured the safest play was to stick by her side. So here we are.”
Caleb glances at me, his eyes unreadable once again, and I question myself again at his motives.
“How did you even get here?” he asks Caleb, but before he can answer, Nathan turns to me.
“Didn’t you have a play to perform in?”
I growl, stomping over to him and getting right in his face before Caleb can speak. “It was one hell of a helicopter ride, and fuck the play. My guess is they got the original actress back, but I don’t know for sure, and I sure as fuck don’t care right now. I ditched Cleopatra, ditched my sister, and ditched it all so I could be here. So Caleb could be here. For you.”
A bird screams, but it’s the only sound that interrupts the sudden silence, and Nathan’s eyes burn into mine. Risking it all, my voice cracking, I force the words out. “I love you. And I want to help you.”
He doesn’t say it back, and the crevice created in my heart when he left widens, gaping deep and dark and pain-filled.
But I force the tears back, unwilling to break here in the jungle surrounded by dangerous men.
Something about it makes me think of the nickname he calls me . . . kitty. Not Kitty, but kitty. I’m a lost kitten trapped by junkyard dogs in a world bigger and scarier than I’d ever dreamed.
Still, I’m latching onto the biggest, scariest dog I see and not letting go. I’m gonna ride this out and see where it all ends.
Caleb’s voice is full of sarcasm. “I love you too, Nate-y Wate-y.”
“Fine, let’s fucking bury Dad then,” Nathan says with a sneer.
Still, before he steps back, he puts his hand over mine, and I feel . . . something.
It’s torture, not knowing exactly what it means.
But I’ll take it.
Chapter 37
Nathan
The three flashlight beams play on the walls, but despite the extra light, I feel the situation pressing in on me more, more stifling than even the cave walls. I’m searching around aimlessly and occasionally speaking loud enough to make it seem like we’re holding some sort of strange funeral for a man I didn’t care enough about to hate.
Okay, maybe that’s not entirely true because I do feel something about my father and his death. Whether good or bad, ill or beneficial, he had an impact on my life that’s brought me thousands of miles from home, with three armed men outside.
I’m just not sure what label to smack on the outside of the jar of those emotions.
“Damn it, Dad. Why?” I cry out, my body in the gap between the inner and outer caverns. The dramatics are for Francisco, who I’m sure is paying a lot more attention this time. Considering he was holding onto Caleb’s AK-47, he’s certainly being cautious.
From the entrance to the inner cavern, Caleb whispers, “Too much, dumbass. You sound like a pussy. Tone it down a notch. Or ten.”
I grin but fake a sniffle like I’m crying while keeping an eye out to see if Francisco is thinking of interrupting us. He did solemnly offer his condolences as we entered the cave, so I’m guessing he feels like he’s done enough, but I’m taking no chances.
Meanwhile, Emma and Caleb are poring over the papers they brought, re-familiarizing themselves with the information I have memorized. Emma is comparing what she sees on the walls to what’s on the map using a magnifying app on her phone, looking at every inch, and then she gasps. She covers her mouth, but I can see by her wide eyes that she’s figured something out.
I look to where she’s pointing at the wall. There’s a small picture, almost a hieroglyphic, though this isn’t the right civilization for that. I didn’t see it before because it’s so faint, it’s more like a watermark on the wall. Now that she’s pointed it out, it’s as plain as day.
I cross the inner cavern, but Caleb is to her first, grabbing her