RMB in cash and two packets of worship paper, shook his head. ‘That stuff's almost useless. Only imprinted worship paper counts as money in the underworld.’
‘How do you know that?’ asked Xiao Han. ‘Have you been down there to check it out?’
‘My wife came to me in a dream and said that's considered fake money down there.’ He kicked piles of it on the floor. ‘You need to tell Lao Lan to throw it away. If she takes fake money with her, she'll be arrested as a counterfeiter.’
‘There are police down there?’ Xiao Han asked.
‘Of course there are. They've got everything we've got up here,’ Ma Kui replied confidently.
‘We've got a United Meatpacking Plant and we've got you—how about those?’
‘Don't get smart with me, young fellow. Go see for yourself if you don't believe me.’
‘Going down is the easy part. How do I get back? You'd like to see me dead, you old fart!’
Mother walked in and nodded to Ma Kui. ‘Where are you going, Inspector Han? Are you looking for a promotion?’ Mother picked up the phone before he could respond and dialled a number. ‘Is this the Finance Department? Xiao Qi, This is Yang Yuzhen. Big Four's on his way to see you. Give him five thousand RMB, and don't forget to get a receipt with his thumbprint.’
‘Make it ten thousand, Director Yang,’ Big Four said brazenly. ‘Five won't do it.’
‘Don't get greedy, Big Four,’ Mother said sharply.
‘That's not it.’ He took out his notebook. ‘Five thousand isn't nearly enough. See here. Three thousand for bricks, two thousand for lime, five thousand for lumber…’
‘Five thousand, and that's it,’ Mother cut him off.
Big Four sat down in the doorway. ‘In that case, we'll have to stop work…’
‘King Yama would tremble if he ran into the likes of you,’ Mother said as she picked up the phone again. ‘Give him eight thousand,’ she said.
‘You're an iron abacus, Director Yang. Make it an even number. After all, it's not your money.’
‘I can't authorize ten thousand precisely because it isn't my money.’
‘Lao Lan knew what he was doing when he hired you.’
‘Get out!’ Mother spat at him. ‘Just the sight of you gives me a headache!’
Big Four stood up and bowed to Mother. ‘There's no one better than Director Yang, not my mother and not my father.’
‘You can substitute the word “money” for Director Yang! You're an expert at cutting corners on roads and buildings. If you do that on this tomb, Big Four, you'll live to regret it.’
‘Don't give it another thought, Director,’ Big Four said snidely. ‘I'll spend less and work harder, even if the money runs out. I'll build you a tomb that's impervious to an atom bomb.’
‘You can't find ivory in a dog's mouth.’ Mother said, losing her temper. ‘You don't have the money in hand yet,’ she added as she reached for the phone. ‘Let's see which is faster, your legs or my fingers on the dial.’
‘Damn this stinking mouth of mine!’ Big Four said as he made a show of slapping himself. ‘Director Yang, Elder Sister Lan, oh, no, I mean Elder Sister Luo, my dear Elder Sister. I was just trying to soft-soap you. I'm too coarse to say the right thing…’
‘Get out!’ Mother grabbed a handful of spirit money and threw it at him.
The paper fluttered in the air.
Big Four made a face at the others in the room, turned and scooted for the doorway, where, in his rush, he collided with the wife of Huang Biao. ‘You're not fighting to wear the parental mourning cap, are you, Big Four?’ she blurted out, her face red with anger. ‘Don't worry, there's one waiting for you.’
‘I'm sorry, Elder Sister Lan, no, I mean Elder Sister Huang. I can't control this mouth of mine,’ he said, rubbing his head. Then he stuck his face up next to her and said softly, ‘I haven't bruised your breasts, have I?’
‘You can go to hell, Big Four!’ she said as she kicked him in the shin and fanned the air in front of her face. ‘Have you been eating shit—is that why you stink so bad?’
‘For someone like me,’ Big Four replied, feigning humility, ‘the only shit I could find would turn out to be cold.’
She tried to kick him again, but he moved away in time and slunk out through the doorway.
Everyone in the room was still speechless at Big Four's antics and could now only stare blankly at the new arrival. She was wearing a short blue