look at me. It’s hot and I fucking love it. I bet you fantasize about me, too. One day you’re going to beg me for the things you fantasize about. If you’re a good little girl, I might give you some relief when that time comes. So I suggest you play nice.” He planted a hot kiss on the side of my neck and then cold air rushed in against my back and replaced him.
I stood there in shock for a bit. For one, I’d never talked like that to another human being in my life. The F-bomb wasn’t something I dropped very often and I surprised myself when the world slipped out. Two, my body was super sensitive and I felt like melting into a big pile of Patience right there in the middle of Finn’s shitty garage.
He was right. I had responded to him that night at his house. I was responding to him now. I wanted things from him that made my stomach flutter and turn at the same time, but wanting and doing were two different things. I fantasized about the things I could never do and then punished myself for thinking the things that were a direct conflict with my sanity.
The point was Zeke was making me even crazier than I already was, and staying away from him was the best thing I could do, but I couldn’t. The messed up part was I loved the way he made me feel. I loved the color he brought to my life. In the moments when life sucked away all my oxygen, he swooped in and helped me breathe. He was practically a stranger, a bad boy from the wrong side of town, but in some bizarre way he helped me survive.
I slammed my empty cup in the trash and headed for the door. Megan was cozy in Chet’s lap and I wasn’t about to take her away from him just so she could take me home. I had two feet and after being barricaded in the house for a week, I needed the exercise. I couldn’t even find it in myself to be afraid of the repercussions of coming in late. With the mood I was in, I’d be more afraid if I were my dad. I could totally see myself breaking his fingers and not giving a shit who in the house knew it.
Finn’s neighborhood wasn’t the greatest. There were a lot of cars on blocks and sirens. I’m pretty sure I passed a few drug deals, and once, a group of guys whistled at me, but after an hour of walking, the area became cleaner. I walked into a gas station that had bulletproof glass around the registers and bought a pack of gum to get rid of the smell of alcohol. Then an hour after that, I was on my side of town.
My cheeks burned from the cold air as I huddled into my jacket. My lungs hurt from breathing in the cold and my ribs were aching so bad I wanted to cry. Walking this far wasn’t my brightest idea, but at that point I was almost home. That was a good thing considering the night was turning gray and I knew the sun would be up soon.
I would’ve called Megan to come and get me, except my expensive phone couldn’t seem to ever hold a freaking charge. A dead phone wasn’t very useful to anyone and it crossed my mind several times to just the throw the damn thing in the road and let someone run it over.
Finally—I’m not sure how much longer due to my dead phone and no watch—I walked through the front gates of my neighborhood. I was coming around the corner and could see my house in the distance when I heard squealing tires all around me. I froze as Zeke’s beat-up car pulled up and he slammed on the brakes right in front of me.
He jumped out of the driver’s side with wild eyes. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number, and then waited
“Hey. … Yeah, I found her. … Okay, I will,” he said into the phone.
He stuffed it back in his pocket, then stared at me with angry eyes.
“Where is your phone?” he asked calmly.
Anger was bubbling just below the question and I could tell at any minute he was about to lash out on me. I didn’t know why, but he was definitely pissed off at me.