to tell her that being with her, even without the sex, had been wonderful, but I didn’t respond. I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head like I was aggravated by her. Really, I was aggravated with myself because I wanted Patience to fulfill my needs. I wanted to take her somewhere quiet and do anything she wanted. I’d even cuddle if it meant being close to her, but it would never happen because I’d never let it happen.
“It is what it is,” I finally said.
She didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes filled with tears that never fell and she nodded her head like she understood. Damn her for always being so understanding. Damn her for not bursting out of her skin the way I would’ve had I seen her with another guy. I was pissed that she’d just step aside so easily. We weren’t in a relationship or anything and we never would be, but I’d never give up on her that easy. Though, technically, wasn’t that what I was doing? I was giving up on her, but I was doing it for her. I could never be what she needed in her life and she could never be what I needed in mine. Whatever it was we had going on needed to end. It was already practically nonexistent anyway.
It was then that Stephanie returned from the bathroom. She put her arm around mine and shot Patience an evil grin. Patience smiled sweetly at her, then looked at me. Something in her eyes burned me. Maybe it was the resolution I saw in them, the fact that she was perfectly okay with just walking away and letting me leave with Stephanie. For some reason it hurt in my chest and stomach, and that hurt did nothing but piss me off even more.
“Have fun tonight,” she said with a big fake smile.
“I will.” The minute the words came out of my mouth I wanted to shove them back in and swallow them down.
She looked down and took a deep breath, and then she turned and walked away. I stood there stuck to my spot until I felt Stephanie tug my arm.
“Are we going to do this or not?” she asked impatiently.
I nodded my head and we left.
I ended up dropping Stephanie off at her house and pulling away without even touching her. Needless to say, she was a total bitch about it. After seeing Patience, I couldn’t have gotten it up if I wanted to and suddenly I had no desire to fuck the loose redhead anymore.
I didn’t want to go home. It was after midnight and I didn’t want to deal with my dad. I went to Finn’s house instead. The party had relocated to his place and the garage was full of people who were at the club. As soon as I walked in, I slammed two straight shots of vodka. I knew in the back of my head that my drinking was getting out of hand, but it seemed like the only thing that brought me peace lately was Patience and she was something I wasn’t willing to indulge in anymore.
“Damn, man, I think you just broke a world record for the fastest fuck.” Finn laughed as he threw his arm around my shoulder.
I didn’t tell him nothing happened. What would they think if they knew I dropped off a wet-and-ready female without even touching her? They’d think I lost my fucking mind, and I was starting to think the same damn thing. Finn started talking about something that had to do with The Pit, but once I saw Megan’s spiked haircut, my eyes started to search the garage for those platinum locks I’d come to love so much.
She was sitting in the corner, drinking something from a red Solo cup. She looked over at me as soon as I spotted her and I didn’t miss the relief that showed on her face. Without even saying anything to Finn, I walked away and started straight toward her.
Fourteen
Patience
I couldn’t decide what was worse—what my dad put me through when Zeke dropped me off Sunday morning or seeing him with the slutty redhead. The abuse my dad handed me kept me out of commission for the rest of the week, but seeing Zeke with the half-naked skank was going to keep me down much longer. I knew that the minute I felt like running to the bathroom and puking up the little bit of food I’d managed to eat