unlock my phone and pull up my text thread with TJ.
ME: Hey, so I totally got the times wrong. Apparently I’m not out of here til 11. I don’t think there’s a point in showing up at 11 if the fair closes at 12. Is it on tomorrow night too?
TJ: Not sure. Can’t you duck out of the game early?
ME: I would, except I’m here with Pippa and Brenna, and I promised Hunter I’d come find him after the game.
There’s a long delay. And still no response.
ME: I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad. Our meet-up was a last-minute thing, anyway, remember? I already had plans to go to the game.
HIM: I know. It’s fine, D. Have fun at the game.
He’s clearly annoyed. I don’t blame him for it, either. But I’m also growing weary of reassuring him all the time. TJ asks me to hang out nearly every single day. We’re friends, sure, but I don’t even see Pippa every day, and I consider her my bestie. Hell, I didn’t even see Nico every day and we were a couple.
Regardless of all that, I do feel bad about not being able to make it to the fair. I shouldn’t have agreed to two sets of plans in one night. Any time you do that, timing always overlaps in some stupid way, and now I’ve disappointed one of my good friends.
ME: I’m really sorry, hon. This is on me. I shouldn’t have made plans on top of plans. It turned into a dumb double-booking thing, and I apologize for that. I’ll call you tomorrow and we can plan a friend day that fits both of our schedules, okay? Xo
He responds with xoxo followed by an, Okay.
Whew. I’m glad I patched that one up. Now it’s time for more pressing matters.
“I’m not meeting TJ,” I tell the girls. “So I guess I’m good to party later. What’s my game plan?”
“Flirt and seduce,” Brenna advises. “Pick his hottest friend—I’m thinking that’s Conor, or Matty. Get your flirt on, and make sure Hunter’s watching.”
“Then what?”
She shrugs. “If he takes the bait, hopefully there’ll be a chastity belt on your bedroom floor tonight. If he doesn’t…hell, hook up with Conor or Matty, then.”
I balk. “But I hardly know them.”
Pippa snorts. “You are the most sheltered college woman on the planet. It’s okay to fool around with guys you haven’t known since you were eight years old, D.”
I stick out my tongue at her.
“I’m serious. You’re allowed to experiment. For all you know, you were having the worst sex of your life with Nico, only you thought it was mind-blowing because you didn’t know any better. Let yourself know better.”
“Nico and I had good sex.” I pause. “Well, aside from the subpar oral.” Because who am I kidding? It was never even close to par. “But I never really saw the appeal, anyway. With oral, I could take it or leave it.”
“But that’s the most important part!” Brenna says in outrage.
“If I do end up with Hunter tonight, should I be worried about…um…you know, sexually transmitted diseases?” TJ’s warning continues to lurk in the back of my head like a cat burglar.
“As in, does Hunter have one?” Brenna thinks it over. “Nobody’s ever said anything to me about that, but obviously I can’t know for sure.” She wrinkles her forehead at me. “But that’s why you have the conversation before the clothes come off.”
“The conversation?”
“Disclosure,” she explains. “Diseases, birth control, any weird kinks you want to disclose. Like, if a guy has a foot fetish, I need to know about that shit up front so I don’t throw up on him.”
Pippa breaks out laughing. “Oh God, that’s a great point. All foot fetishes must be disclosed prior to sexual relations. And don’t even get me started on the guy in sophomore year who wanted me to pee on him.”
I resist the urge to bury my face in my hands and moan in despair. I am so out of my element here. I’ve only slept with one person. I lost my virginity to him, and we were in a long-term relationship for years. There was never any need to have “the conversation.”
And I never, ever had to wonder if he wanted me to pee on him.
I never thought of myself as naïve or inexperienced. I thought I was a ballsy, smart-talking chick from Miami who owned her body and her sexuality. But maybe it’s time to grow up a little. I do need to think about