Pike (The Pawn Duet #1) - T.M. Frazier Page 0,52

bed and lift the blankets, the mattress dipping under my weight as I settle my head on the pillow. I turn my head and stare at the small shadowy lump underneath the blankets beside me.

Now more than ever, I realize that I want to know what makes Mickey tick.

I roll away from her to face the door. I close my eyes, but it doesn’t close out the unwelcome thought that follows.

I don’t want to get to know her for any admission of truth, but because I genuinely want to know everything there is to know about her.

I finally fall asleep only to have a dream I haven’t had in years. But it isn’t a dream at all.

It’s a gut-punch of a fucking memory.

Five Years Old

“Hey, big boy. Come with me so we can talk for a minute, okay?” Mom looks at me, but her eyes don’t look right. They’re bloodshot and glassy with bags underneath. I’ve seen her upset before, many times, but never like this. Her hand is shaking and sweaty as she takes mine in hers, leading me into the small living room. She sits me down on the couch. Her hand never leaves mine. “Daddy’s left us. For good this time.”

She’s waiting for a reaction that will never come. I never saw the man, and when I did, he was beating on my mother. Why is she so upset? People who aren’t good in our lives shouldn’t be in our lives. “The thing is I can’t do this alone. I’m not… I can’t…I just can’t,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry, baby. You deserve so much better.”

I don’t care what I deserve. I want her.

“I don’t understand,” I say, holding her hand tighter as she tries to pull away.

She looks at me for a few seconds before smiling sadly. She ruffles my hair. “Never mind. Mommy loves you. I will always love you. That’s all you need to know. Everything will be fine. I promise.”

She sniffles and wipes her tears away. She stands. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

I nod, convinced everything is going to be okay like she said because I’m five and she’s my mom.

She disappears into the kitchen and a few minutes later comes back with a large bowl of popcorn, a bottle of water, and all of my favorite candy. She clicks the remote and presses play on my favorite superhero movie.

“Mommy has to take care of something. I’ll be right back,” she says. Or at least, that’s what I think she says. I’m too engrossed in the opening battle scene playing before me to really listen. I don’t even notice the door opening or closing or anything else for that matter because I fall asleep.

When I wake up from a junk-food induced coma, there’s three men in uniforms staring down at me. Policeman. “You alone, kid?” they ask.

I look around. “My mommy is here. We were watching a movie. I fell asleep.”

The officers exchange a knowing glance. “Ain’t no one here, kid. Your mommy’s the one who called us. Come on. You’re going to come with us. It will all be okay.”

I don’t believe him, not like I believe my mom. She’s coming back. She said she would come back.

“She’s coming back!” I yell as they pick me up. I kick and cry out of their grasp. “She’s coming back!”

One sighs loudly and sounds sadder than my mommy had sounded. “No, kid. She ain’t coming back.”

They lead me to the patrol car, and one gets in the backseat with me while the other two get into the front.

The last thing I remember seeing as we drive off is my mother hiding behind the trash cans in the alley next to our house. She’s pressing her middle finger to her lips to silence me as tears run down her face.

I was sad but also angry. I turned away from her and looked at the back of the seat instead.

She said she loved me, but she left me.

If this is what love is, I want no part of it.

Chapter Nineteen

Mickey

The next morning Pike drags me down the stairs into the pawn shop before I’m fully awake. The showroom smells like silver polish and stale cigarettes. It’s the first time I’ve been in it long enough to actually look around and take it in, but I can’t because Pike plops me down in a chair next to the counter.

I dart my eyes from one side of the room to the other, waiting for the preverbal