gala too. But I also sent you the gifts and went to the gala because of you. I wanted you to see I can fight for you. I would never do those other things you are accusing me of.”
I turned my head away from Samuel, and he grabbed onto my chin, turning me back to face him, making sure he had my attention. “I stopped everything when this deal started to be put into motion because I knew I wouldn’t have to go behind anyone’s back to see you. When your Dad invited me here and I asked him about you, he told me you weren’t with Weston any more. I assumed Clint came clean with you about what he did to me, and you finally knew what kind of guy he was. I had no idea about anything else. Oh Len, you must be thinking...”
I pushed Samuel’s hand off my chin and shook my head. I know what I saw in Clint’s face when I found out. At the truth and dare party, the way his lips hit mine in such fear, his pleas in the car. No, Samuel was lying. We had spent a long time apart, and by now, he would have become good at it. I had to trust what I saw in Clint and in his words. Clint lost me because of what he did. I believed he would have never done that without the same threat first. My mind was made up.
“You don’t believe me, do you Len?” Samuel was desperately searching my face for something, anything that may have looked like belief, but he found nothing.
I went over and held his free hand with both of mine. My head was where it should be and now, and it was time for me to say good-bye.
“Samuel, you will always hold a place in my heart as my first love, but I don’t love you any more. You are my friend, and that is all you are ever going to be. I could never love someone who acts like my father, putting hits out on people I care about, causing me to hurt like this. I really thought you knew me better, but clearly you don’t. And neither does Clint.”
I moved back but he held me, not accepting this good-bye.
“Len, I’m not lying to you, I’ve never lied to you.”
I wanted to believe him, I really did, but it wasn’t true. He had lied before.
“Really Samuel, you’ve never lied to me? Well, let me ask you this. Did you know who I was when we first met?”
Samuel’s eyes expanded, a sign I knew as shock. He didn’t expect me to ask that.
“Really... Never?” I questioned him.
He looked stunned.
“Fuuuuuuuuck! You knew I knew you? Shit Len, it was one lie. I was going to tell you eventually. It never had anything to do with how I feel. I never lied to you after that, I...” But Samuel saw my disbelief, he saw I no longer trusted him. “It doesn’t matter if Weston lied does it? You don’t believe me now do you?”
I just shook my head at him. “Good-bye Samuel,” I said and I leaned over to him to give him a peck on the cheek as a final farewell, but he turned to capture my mouth with his, dipping me and giving me one more long deep kiss.
When we finished, he lifted me back up. I think he knew I couldn’t forgive him now because I didn’t believe him. I was grateful for that kiss. It felt like he accepted my good-bye and he understood why. I gave Samuel one final look, out of respect for the love we once shared, and left the room, not stopping to look back.
My Dad was milling near a filing cabinet as I came through the door and closed it behind me. He looked me over and then asked, “You done in there?”
I smiled and nodded back. “Yeah Dad. I’m done.” I sighed deeply and walked over to my Dad, throwing my arms around him for a hug. He seemed surprised and flinched before embracing me back. “You knew it would always be Josh didn’t you?” I whispered into his ear.
We stopped hugging and my Dad tried not to look choked up, stepping back and looking serious once again. “I knew you two would eventually figure it out, when you were old enough to do so, of course.” I half laughed at his over-protective side showing again.