eyes on the floor; trying not to get angry about what Clint was asking me to do.
“I don’t care about him the way you think Clint. He doesn’t exist for me in that way. You know that. I’ve told you a million times and more. He is still my friend and I don’t purposely hurt my friends. Why would you want me to hurt someone I care about?”
How could Clint not see where I was coming from? How could he not understand?
“You are hurting me right now, Norah.”
Ohhh, that stung! Immediate disappointment in my boyfriend swirled inside me as I registered what he said.
“Don’t say that Clint. Don’t you dare say that. Don’t lay that kind of guilt on me. You are not being fair.” I looked at Clint now, my eyes ignited in defense. I was trying to be understanding of Clint’s emotions, and be sensitive to his feelings, but now, he was completely disregarding mine.
“I’m not being fair? He has sent you twenty-four gifts Norah. Twenty-four! What kind of fian...” Clint paused and cleared his throat before he continued, “boyfriend, am I, to allow that? Fair, it’s all I am!”
He did have a point. He had showed a lot more restraint than I thought he was capable of. Yes, we had had some bad fights because of the gifts, and we had thrown around some pretty harsh words, but Clint had not told my father of Samuel’s persistence, and that in itself, showed me that he cared about my feelings.
“Stop Clint. You are letting these gifts come between us. It’s exactly what he wants.” I wanted this fight to end. I wanted Clint to forget about it and move on. I wanted to pretend like I never answered the door this morning.
“No, you are letting these gifts come between us. You can stop all this with just one conversation with the guy. Do it for me Norah, for us.”
I didn’t want to scream at Clint, but his lack of understanding on my behalf forced the next sentence out as being yelled.
“I can’t fucking believe you are putting this on me Clint!”
Clint looked like he was ready to explode, his face turning a deep shade of red. “You can’t believe it! I can’t believe it! This shouldn’t be happening anyway! It should be finished! Done! He should be gone forever!” Clint’s temper was not restrained any more. It was out in the open, loud and hungry, and plainly saying whatever sprang into his head.
Wait, what the hell does that mean?
“What the hell does that mean?” I shouted back at him, just realizing that what he said made no sense, even in the heat of the moment.
Suddenly Clint’s rage was interrupted by a different look on his face, and I knew that look. It was fear. It was as if he had said something he wasn’t supposed to say. That made me even more angry because now I was thinking about the note and the potential of more lies. I was suddenly thinking that I should be a lot more angry.
“It was nothing Norah. Just forget it. I’m going to get ready for work.” Clint strode off to the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving me in the middle of the lounge, my fists in balls and my mind racing with anger and suspicion. Trying to now control my breathing, I was faced with the fallout of yet another argument from the gifts Samuel had been sending me. I really believed he would stop this pursuit. I thought if he saw I was with Clint, he would understand that I made a decision back in Morewell, and that when I agreed to live with Clint, it was a clear sign that I had moved on. But Samuel seemed relentless. The gifts were accelerating in expense and grandeur every week. But why? Why? Did Samuel really believe I still loved him? Did he really think he had a chance? The questions in my mind just reignited the other questions about the note, and what could possibly be hidden from me.
I stood, shaking, still feeling the intensity of our argument. I knew that Clint had let slip something he wasn’t supposed to, and now I was left explosively confused, which, if you knew anything about me, meant I needed to vent, and vent now. Normally I would paint or hightail it to a gun range, but since moving to New York, I had promised myself that I would try and find other