Perfection - Kitty Thomas Page 0,46

after our initial scene together went on forever, the one at the end of the ballet goes on so long I actually want them to stop because I'm getting hungry. I need to eat. I need to rest. I need to be off this stage. And I need to talk to Sebastian. Maybe not in that order.

Actual roses are thrown on the stage. I've seen this happen a few times before, but it's usually at really high profile performances. Though I guess we just became high profile. New Firebird and Sebastian Trent all in one night. There’s a sense of breathlessness in the air about all this.

As we take our final bows, Sebastian's gaze locks with mine. His intense expression is inscrutable. I wish I knew what he was thinking right now. He grips my hand so tightly, and for a moment, I'm not sure whether he'll take me away and lock me in a tower, or if he'll slip out of my grasp forever.

When we get off stage, Sebastian runs. Like runs. He moves so fucking fast I could never hope to catch him. In this moment, I'm so afraid I'll never see him again, but I'm swept up again in a chorus of cheers and congratulations. Henry drags me to the opening night after party. And of course, Sebastian isn't there. He is a ghost.

14

It's Wednesday night. I've barely eaten anything the past two days. The company hasn't settled down from the buzz of excitement over Sebastian's mysterious appearance at the show followed by his subsequent disappearance and what it might mean and if he'll be joining the company, and what in the fuck is actually going on?

Literally everyone has asked if I'm sleeping with him. This question has made me blush more times than I can count because clearly that entire audience had some sort of voyeuristic experience with Sebastian and me. If everyone in the company thinks we're sleeping together, then the audience definitely did. It feels as though they've intruded on our privacy, our intimate moments on our private stage.

I've spent the past two days rehearsing with Shane, the understudy for Prince Ivan. Shane is nice enough, and he's a good dancer, but he isn't Frederick. And he's definitely not Sebastian. But I’m polite and professional, and when he nearly dropped me on a lift yesterday, I bit back the urge to scream at him—to ask if he wanted me in the hospital, too! Difficult prima donna is not a good look, and I don't want to become a ballet monster before Natalie's spot at the barre is even cold.

I've asked Mr. V. and Morgan about Frederick. When he's coming back. How long he has to be off the foot. When he can dance again... but they've been tight-lipped. No one is talking about it.

I reach the old Opera house a few minutes before nine. The spotlight lights up the stage and the barre as usual. But there’s silence. It's a silence so loud and oppressive I find myself looking over my shoulder, wondering whether I'm alone, wondering if someone else or something else might lurk in the shadows watching me instead of the man I'm hoping to find.

“Sebastian!” I call out. It's the first time I've spoken his name out loud. No answer. He's not here. I feel a tear sliding down my cheek at the thought that he would abandon me after everything. Why? Because I saw his face? What difference can that possibly make now?

“Sebastian, are you here? Please, answer me.”

I walk down the darkened aisle and climb the steps of the stage. I'm about to get ready for our weekly ritual, but I don't know which shoes to wear. I don't know which he wants. I don't even know if I'm alone right now. A choked sob escapes my throat, and I crumple to the ground and start to cry.

His voice booms over the speaker. “I'm surprised you're here.”

I look up and around, as I always do, never quite sure where he actually is. I feel relief. “Of course I'm here,” I say. “I have to come here or you'll ruin my life.”

He chuckles at that. “Oh, Ms. Lane. That's not why you come here. You knew after the first few weeks I wouldn't report you.”

“I did not!” Did I know that? I'd stopped thinking about it or caring about it because I started to crave this... thing between us. This secret.

“You kept coming here because you need this. You need