A Perfect Paris Christmas - Mandy Baggot Page 0,89

with my thoughts for a moment. In this case, familiarity that was once “comfortable” was bred out of being too scared to implement alterations. It is not the kind of “comfortable” you speak of. It is the type of familiarity that ferments and sets firm a certain way because of a lack of ingenuity, or, maybe, because of fear.’ He looked directly at her then, his gaze seeming to draw them both to a halt at the iron base of the Eiffel Tower. ‘But I do not want to be afraid of change anymore. And, if I want the business to continue, then change, it must happen.’

‘Change is always challenging,’ Keeley answered straightaway. ‘Because sometimes it’s change you want, and other times it’s change you’re dealt.’

‘Agreed.’

‘But,’ Keeley said, watching his breath dance in the air between them, ‘the challenge isn’t always the “what”. Usually it’s more the case of the “what if”.’

‘I am not sure I follow.’

Keeley smiled. ‘The difficulty lies in the procrastination that happens once a decision has either been made or has landed in your lap. Like… what if someone’s pearlescent-pink is someone else’s raspberry-ripple? Or what if someone’s promise of a special offer is more than you paid in the first place? Or what if everyone stops going to hotels forever?’

‘Do not joke about that. It was a very bad start to 2020 for everybody.’ He cracked a smile.

‘The “what ifs” are absolutely vital to decision-making. Obviously no one should make a decision without thinking through the consequences but…’

‘But?’

‘But “what ifs” are just excuses at the end of the day.’ Keeley took a breath and looked up at the tower winding its way into the sky above them, lit up now in festive red. She shuddered. ‘I’ve realised that even more since I’ve been in Paris. I’ve learned you shouldn’t leave things until it’s too late. My sister, she always said she would rather regret the things she had done than the things she hadn’t done.’ She looked back to Ethan. ‘Bea, she was always so wise. And determined. And brave. Always braver than me.’

Keeley wanted to be braver. She had pledged that to herself only this morning. She so much wanted to take this second chance at life and to hold on tight.

‘If I was braver,’ Ethan whispered. ‘I would kiss you right now.’

There was no hesitation in Keeley’s reply. ‘If I was braver… I would let you.’

Her heart was hammering in her chest as she gazed up at him and he looked down at her. She almost felt like she could pause here with him and let that moment elongate and expand and grow, maybe as far as eternity. Life suddenly felt completely suspended. The sound of the traffic had faded to a faint hum, the Christmas music from stalls around them became merely a gentle backing track to the melody of her heart. This was her time to be all in, like she had promised Erica. She leaned forward a little, holding her breath and saw Ethan do the same…

A loud whistle broke the hush and Keeley backed up, the bubble burst.

‘Ethan!’ Jeanne called. ‘Can we go ice-skating?’ The girl was bouncing up and down, pointing at the tower and mimicking gliding around on the pavement as Bo-Bo ran around in circles weaving in and out of her legs.

Keeley laughed, a little embarrassed, but more disappointed than anything else. Perhaps it simply wasn’t meant to be.

Ethan put a finger in the air and moved away. ‘Just… please… give me a moment.’ He shifted a few steps then turned back to her. ‘Wait right there.’

Keeley smiled, watching him moving away from her but also seemingly reluctant to turn his eyes away.

*

Ethan’s heart was pounding in his chest. He was out of control and overcome and… he wanted to kiss Keeley. He wanted to hold her in his arms. He wanted to feel her skin with his fingertips. He wanted to press his lips to hers… and Jeanne’s presence was the only thing stopping him.

‘Can we go ice-skating?’ she asked again, making the expression he assumed he was supposed to be rapt by the cuteness of. Ethan almost lost his footing as Bo-Bo jumped around him as if he might be meat on a stick the dog wanted to devour.

Taking his wallet from his pocket, he produced a twenty-Euro note. ‘If I trust you with this will you go to find us some food? Or will you run into the night and spend it on