A Perfect Paris Christmas - Mandy Baggot Page 0,112

around his hand, loving the way they felt when they were fitted together. He didn’t need to finish the sentence. She knew completely what he meant.

*

The scent of the sawdust, plus the slight smell of heat from all the spotlights stirred Ethan’s memories as they entered the big top to a rapidly growing audience. Everything here was a harkening back to when he was Jeanne’s age, seeing exotic animals and crazy characters for the very first time.

‘Are we close?’ Jeanne asked, tugging on his sleeve. ‘Will I be able to see everything?’

‘Are we close? I do not know,’ Ethan answered, drawing the tickets from the pocket of his coat. ‘I did not think to—’

Jeanne snatched the tickets from his hands and then her face lit up like Christmas might have arrived already. ‘The front row! The very front row!’

He smiled at her pure joy, so richly transparent. He instinctively knew she would like to sit in the very first row and he had been almost as excited as he knew she would be when he had found there were still seats in that area available. What he hadn’t been expecting though was what quickly came next. Jeanne threw herself at him, stick-thin – yet surprisingly strong – arms going around him in a bear hug of mammoth proportions. It caught him off guard. He wasn’t quite sure what to do. For a brief second he didn’t do anything and then he caught sight of Keeley and she put her arms out, mimicking a hug. Yes! He should hug Jeanne back. That was exactly what he should do. Except affection like this, it did not come naturally. Finally, he grouped his arms around her and gathered her a little closer, patting her on the back. Why was he so bad at this? And why was he so bad at this in front of Keeley? What must she think of him?

‘Can we get popcorn?’ Jeanne asked, stepping back, cheeks flushed, eyes showing signs of unshed tears.

‘Maybe in a while,’ Ethan offered.

Jeanne waved the tickets in the air and was off again, gamboling down the aisle and making for the front rows of seating right next to the ring.

‘She is so excited,’ Keeley said. ‘More excited than Rach was to discover designer fashion brands at a flea market.’

‘I suspect this will be the first time she has been anywhere close to anything like this,’ Ethan replied. He was still watching Jeanne, finding himself a little concerned when she was too far away. What was the impetuous child doing to him? She was making him care, opening him up in ways he never thought could be possible in his life.

‘Is she staying with you?’ Keeley asked. ‘At your apartment above a bakery?’

He turned to Keeley then and smiled, nodding. ‘It really is small,’ he answered. ‘When Bo-Bo comes into the living area it is like sharing the space with a large horse.’ He sighed. ‘But, what else could I do? She has nowhere safe to live. The alternative would be…’ He didn’t finish the sentence.

‘There must be someone you could call for help,’ Keeley suggested.

‘Help’ would come if he called it. ‘Help’, he knew from experience, would end up being worse than all anyone’s nightmares rolled into one. He didn’t want to think about that option. And that was why he was letting Jeanne stay. ‘I have said she can stay for a while. After Christmas, we will see.’

There would be no ‘seeing’. He had made Jeanne a promise and he had meant it. He would get her into school if she stayed. He did not have the first idea what he was doing attempting some kind of parenting, but he could not let her go back to how he knew she would be living. Cold. Desperate. Having to make friends with unsuitable people simply to get warm standing around a fire.

‘That’s very kind of you,’ Keeley said.

‘She will run the rings around me,’ Ethan answered. ‘Exactly like the horses we are going to see in a few moments.’

‘I like that you care about people,’ Keeley told him as they arrived at the very front row of seats. ‘I think you find it difficult to know what to do when you do care about people but… caring in the first instance that’s the most important thing.’

‘Oh,’ Ethan whispered, dropping his face a little nearer to hers. ‘Believe me, I know what to do when I care about people. I am just… a little out