course. The time difference meant it was evening in the US. Sipping my milk, I peered at some of the responses: promises of a dream home with financial security from desperate couples with so much love to give. I didn’t realise I had one hand clasped protectively over my flat stomach until I looked down.
‘Don’t worry, little bean,’ I whispered. ‘Only the best for you.’
I meant it. I only wished there was an easier way out of this mess.
CHAPTER FOUR
SHERIDAN
The tune played in Sheridan’s head long before she started the recorded TV episode of It Takes All Sorts. She hunched in her seat, her fingers tightening around the remote control as she pressed play. It takes all sorts . . . The jingle filled the air. Family comes in all shapes and sizes, life never fails to surprise us, it takes all sorts in our world . . .
Sheridan sat, her knees pressed tightly together as she stared at the screen. With the curtains closed, her privacy was guaranteed. Nobody came into this room, not even her husband. Her life was a whirlwind of phone calls and appointments and she had dismissed her team of advisors for some much-needed moments of peace. Her viewings were a compulsion, a chance to relive her childhood; her eyes followed the screen as Sherry, her six-year-old self, ran to the Christmas tree. She was wearing her pink dressing gown, her blonde ringlets shining beneath the studio lights. To her viewers, she appeared to have just got out of bed. Sheridan remembered her mother’s firm instructions as she raked the comb through her hair that morning. She also recalled the teeth-whitening, the facial scrubs and the drops that made her look dewy-eyed. Her mother’s ruthless ambition dictated that the episode entitled ‘Jingle Bells and Puppy Tails’ was a live show, aired on Christmas Day. ‘If we stop making programmes, your fans won’t love you any more,’ was her mother’s stock response whenever she complained of having to work during the holidays.
The episode began with Sherry squealing in delight at the sight of the presents beneath the tree. In reality, most of the gift boxes were empty. Like her, they were perfectly packaged and pleasing to the eye, but it was all a facade. Behind her mother’s saccharine smile was an insatiable hunger for more fans, more viewer ratings and more inches of favourable reviews in newspaper columns. Daintily stepping between the gifts, Sherry put four ribboned boxes aside.
‘We’ll give these to the children in the shelter,’ she said, offering Dorothy, her mother, an angelic smile, ‘because everyone should have a happy Christmas Day.’
Their support of women’s refuges gave them great publicity at that time of year. The charity was carefully chosen by her mother to garner the most approval from their fans.
Sheridan paused the recording as the camera homed in on her six-year-old face. She was good, even then. She had picked up the empty boxes as if they were heavy, her expression filled with sympathy as she spoke of those less fortunate than herself. Now, watching it back, only Sheridan could see the desperation in her eyes as she fought to be the most-loved starlet in the USA.
It wasn’t as if she were short of real Christmas presents. Dozens had been sent by fans to the television studios for her to keep. But each time she made a mistake, her mother forfeited one for the shelter, which was why she had to get the live performance just right. She remembered the burning resentment she felt towards the children who stole her presents away.
Pressing play, Sheridan watched as she coveted a tall pink box that vibrated under her hands.
‘It’s moving!’ she squealed, as if she didn’t know what it was.
She ripped at the paper, taking in the air holes pressed into the cardboard. Sharp, excited giggling followed as a Labrador puppy bounced out. Well, flopped, really. Her mother had sedated him because he had been making too much noise. Sherry held him close to her chest to disguise the fact that her new pet was spaced out.
‘I’m going to call him Bouncer!’ she said with genuine delight, as her mother and screen father bent down for a hug.
In reality, the couple couldn’t stand each other, but the public was not to know that. Soon her screen friends would join them and a party would take place. They would wish their viewers a merry Christmas, and when the episode ended, her mother would begin planning the