‘I was made redundant, but I didn’t want to worry you until I’d sorted something out. Cutbacks. They’re keeping it hush-hush.’ In truth, it was my lack of commitment that had led to me getting the sack.
‘So you’re selling your baby because you can’t afford the rent?’ Dympna glared at my suitcase, as if seeing it for the first time. ‘And what’s this? Running out on me, are you?’
My jaw tightened. I had been through a lot of soul-searching and was in no mood for a row. ‘If you let me get a word in edgeways, I’ll tell you. Julie’s brought forward the meet-up to this weekend. I’m packing for New York.’ I was doing this for the baby. But I was doing it for Dympna, too.
She rested her hands on her hips, oblivious to my thoughts. ‘Except she’s not Julie, is she? You’re meeting up with a stranger in a strange country. And as for throwing in your job . . .’
Patience exhausted, I threaded my hands through my hair. ‘For feck’s sake. Last in, first out and all that. It’s only a cleaning job.’
It was easy for Dympna. She only took the position as an act of rebellion against her parents because they were pressurising her to join the Gardaí. It was only meant to be temporary, a means to pay the rent until something better came along. But life wasn’t so easy for me. Why couldn’t she see that?
Dympna flapped her arms theatrically. ‘I see. I suppose I’m not good enough for you either, now you’re off to your fancy New York friends. Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?’
I sighed. She could be such a drama queen when she didn’t get her own way. ‘Please, Dympna, I don’t need this right now.’
On autopilot, I folded my clothes. Jumpers, cardigans, dresses; I had no clue what the weather would be like in New York, or what I should wear. Normally I’d consult Dympna, but she was right; I had been keeping my distance. Up until now, I’d appreciated her nurturing nature.
We weren’t getting anywhere bickering like this, but Dympna was not content to let the subject lie. ‘How are you going to manage if it doesn’t work out?’
‘I’m getting expenses. More than we earn in a month – and that’s only for one weekend. Besides, I have to meet them. How else will I know if they’re the right fit?’
‘I know, but . . .’ The wind taken from her sails, she plopped on to the bed. ‘I can’t believe you’re going through with it. Everything’s moving so fast and I’m worried about you travelling on your own.’ She picked at a loose thread hanging from her blue tabard.
Her crumpled face reflected her own insecurities and I felt my heart melt. ‘Hey . . .’ I squeezed her shoulder. ‘I know you don’t like flying, but there’s nothing to be scared of. I’ll be fine.’
Dympna was right about one thing. Things had happened quickly. But the baby would be here in six months and preparations had to be made. If Julie and Glenn were not suitable as a couple, I would have to start all over again. I folded up a hoodie and placed it in the suitcase. ‘Julie said she’d help me to meet other prospective parents if it doesn’t work out with them. Isn’t that nice?’
But my friend narrowed her eyes, far from comforted by my words. ‘Wait. She’s offered to help you meet other couples to adopt the baby they want while you’re staying under their roof? Why would they do that?’
‘Jeez, you sound just like your da. They’re being nice, that’s all. They just want to help.’
Dympna shook her head. ‘Strangers don’t help you. Not unless they’re getting something in return. That, or they’ve no intention of letting you go.’
I rolled my eyes. Rising from the bed, Dympna left me to my own devices without saying another word.
‘Culchie,’ I muttered, stung by her departure. ‘Anyone would think I was going to the moon.’
But thirty seconds later she returned with a mobile phone in her hand.
‘I got you this,’ she said. ‘There’s twenty euros’ worth of credit loaded and it can make international calls.’ The model was basic, a small round bullet-shaped phone. In her other hand was a charger. She pressed both into my hands. ‘Keep it as a backup. Call me if you need me any time, day or night. I’ll get Dad on to it if I have to. I