If you’re reading this, I’m dead. It probably happened fending off a mountain lion while thru-hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. That or I fell and hit my head on the way to the freezer for more ice cream.
Either way, I wanted you to know, in case I never got around to saying it in life, that it has been a pleasure getting to know you, watching you grow as both a profiler and a person. I didn’t think that at my advanced years, I could make any new friends. You ended up becoming much more than that to me.
I hope that the years ahead are less rocky for you than the ones behind you. I hope that the demons that have haunted you loosen their grip, or that you loosen your grip on them. Regardless, I know that you will face down the future with the same indomitable strength that has sustained you up until now.
Please remember that while in our work we often see the worst in people, your life is made richer by allowing yourself to believe the best of them, especially those closest to you. Give them the benefit of the doubt until they give you cause not to, and maybe even after that. We are all flawed, imperfect creatures. As long as we strive to become better, we deserve a bit of grace. That goes for those you love and for you too.
Also, the house is yours now. You are free to do what you like with it. But I hope you might consider making it a real home. You deserve one.
Garland
Jessie looked up to see that Ryerson was holding out the keys. She didn’t move, not even to wipe away the tear trickling down her cheek. He reached out, took her hand, and pressed them into her palm. Then, without another word, he turned and left, leaving her alone in her new house.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
Jessie sat on the porch, trying to decide which emotion to focus on.
She felt simultaneously overwhelmed, bewildered, appreciative, and, most of all, guilty.
What would Garland Moses think of her in this moment? Not only was she no longer an official profiler for the LAPD, but she was treading water in her unofficial consulting capacity. She was doing a terrible job of offering grace to her little sister, who she feared was a sociopath. Just last night, her dreams were consumed by the demons from her past. She wondered whether, if he knew how she was doing, he might retract the offer of the house.
Shaking her head in annoyance at herself, Jessie stood up.
Stop feeling sorry yourself.
She wasn’t sure if it was his voice or her own in her head. Either way, she decided to listen to it. As she wandered around the house, trying to clear her head, the practical impact of owning this place became clear.
As a result of years of hunting down killers who might want payback if they escaped or were ever released, Garland’s security measures were even more stringent than the ones Jessie had established at her old condo. The house was bigger too, with lots of distance between the three bedrooms, one more than the condo had. The walls were thicker as well, allowing everyone a modicum of privacy.
Best of all, the house was one story, which would make for better ease of movement if—no, when—Ryan got out of the hospital. It would be easier to set up wheelchair ramps and wall rails here than in an apartment building with multiple floors and long hallways, or in a house with a second story.
Jessie sat down at the desk in Garland’s office. Something about being in this room cleared her head. She glanced absentmindedly at the coffee mug paperweight, rereading the line on it:
Whoever kills one life kills the world entire, and whoever saves one life saves the world entire.
She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to drift from her personal situation back to the case. She couldn’t save Corinne’s life, but at the very least, she could get justice for her. And others might be in danger too with a killer out there. She asked herself what Garland would focus on. What was the connective tissue among the seemingly unrelated clues and suspects?
One thing was clear. Everything about the case seemed to involve a jumble of convoluted power dynamics. Corinne Weatherly wielded it over the cast and crew of the film. Director Anton Zyskowski did the same with everyone